You're the Closest to Heaven I'll Ever Be
by Phantom of a Rose
Summary: “Before Edward left, I couldn’t imagine living without him...I thought I would die...and when he did leave, I almost did. I never thought anyone would take his place in my life; even begin to fill his shoes....but now here you are." TotallyAU. BellaJasper
1. Bittersweet Ending

**XD So I know this is horrible, writing another story. I'm pretty sure that I'll be done with it quickly, though. About ten chapters, I think. I'm already on chapter five, actually. :D Yay me! **

**And I know you probably think I'm anti Edward/Bella. I'm so not! I love them together - anything else in canon would be weird….but in fan fiction, on the other hand….it's nice to experiment. ;D And I just so happen to love Jasper, after reading a few fan fiction about him….**

**I hope you like this. Of course ****I do not own TWILIGHT****. I do, however, live in Arizona like Mrs. Meyer. :D That count?**

…**.no? Darn. **

**I also ****don't own "Iris" by the Goo Goo Dolls****. The title of this story is in that song. I thought it was cute. And slightly misleading. :D Could mean any of the male Cullens/Hales. (Ha. Males. Hales…..that rhymes. :D) **

…**.Enough babble I guess. Onward. **

_**You're the Closest To Heaven I'll Ever Be**_

Jasper

I sat on the closed suitcase, my chin resting in my palms. I watched as Alice ran from the closet to the different array of suitcases. Carlisle had told us that we'd only need a suitcase or two full of clothes to go to Alaska. The movers would be coming tomorrow to get everything else and ship it.

But of course Alice didn't understand the concept of 'one or two' suitcases. She had five laid out on the floor. One for shoes, one for casual, one for dressy, and the other two….I had no idea.

I knew that she was probably just trying to distract herself. Alice did not take the news that Edward thought it would be best to leave Bella, after the birthday party. I mentally flinched at the memory. I hadn't meant to lose control….

On the subject of leaving though….maybe it was for the best. But there was one thing that I wanted to clear up though.

Finally Alice finished packing, and we each took a few of her bags, and my single one, down the stairs. We put all the bags in Emmett's jeep, then he and Rosalie drove off. Carlisle and Esme were going to take Carlisle's Mercedes, and Alice was going to take her car. I told the three of them my plan.

"I'm going to go by Bella's house." They look slightly surprised, except for Alice, of course. "I want to apologize…" I explained quickly. "I don't want Bella's last memory of me to be of a monster." Esme's expression softened, and she hugged me before she and Carlisle left.

Alice grinned at me and I sighed. "I'm guessing that she forgives me?" I asked her.

"Of course," she chirped.

Despite Alice's reassurance, I still felt anxious. She touched my cheek tenderly, then skipped off to her car. I did the same - without the skipping.

I parked my Jaguar in front of Bella's home and cut the engine. I was glad that Edward didn't know about this visit, and there was no way that he would barge in when I was talking to Bella, since he had gone off early this morning to hunt. I knew that I was part of the reason why Edward thought it would best to leave Bella. My stupid loss of control on her birthday. And I knew that there was no way that Edward would want me anywhere near Bella.

But I needed to talk to her. I wasn't exactly sure why….but I had to.

Bella 

There was a knock on the door as I sat at the table eating my cereal. I expected it to be anyone other than the person it actually was.

Jasper?

He stood in the door way, looking as beautiful as any of the other Cullens, Hales in the instance. His hands were in his pockets, and he grinned nervously when I opened the door. When I first saw him, standing there, I had a brief flash of him on the night of my birthday, his teeth snapping.

I quickly dismissed this though. I knew that wasn't the real Jasper. He'd just lost control for a moment.

"Jasper?" I questioned. "What are you doing here…."

"To apologize," he said quietly. "For my behavior the other night…." I cocked my head to the side.

"Oh…really?" I was surprised. He really didn't have anything to apologize for. But I told him to come in. He followed me to the kitchen table and I sat down to finish my breakfast. He spared a brief look at it, a look of disgust and curiosity on his face.

"Yeah yeah, I know it's no angry grizzly," I said, rolling my eyes.

He grinned, and it almost reached his eyes. "Yes," he agreed.

I sipped the milk in the bowl. "So…"

Jasper's eyes fell. "I wanted to tell you how sorry I am for your birthday. I was horrible. Of course I'd never mean to hurt you, but…" A dark look came into his eyes.

"It's okay." I shrugged.

Jasper froze, surprised. "What?" He asked.

"It's okay," I repeated.

"It's okay that I almost killed you?" he asked, incredulous.

I flinched. "Well….yeah. You didn't mean to lose control. It's just….a vampire thing. And I just so happen to be way to tempting, apparently. It's not really your fault…just a natural reaction."

He stared at me, unbelieving I think, for a moment. Then he shook his head. "Edward was right. You don't respond to all this appropriately." I blushed.

We sat there in silence for a long moment, and I couldn't help but ask the question that had been bothering me for a while. "Jasper?"

"Yes?"

"I…I was just wondering…." I bit my lip, wondering if I should really ask. I decided it couldn't hurt. "I was wondering why you distanced yourself from me." He gave me an amused look, and I rolled my eyes. "Other than my blood filled body. I mean, in Phoenix in the hotel room you seemed just fine. When we got back though, you were back to your old self."

Jasper hesitated before answering. "It's hard to be around you. Close to you. Harder than all the others, of course." He paused, deliberating. "In Phoenix, I wasn't really focusing on your blood as much as my family and the danger at hand. It was….a mind over matter thing." I grinned. Of course Edward had said the same thing.

"But when I came back…I wasn't sure how I could do that again," continued Jasper. "Not think about it, that is. I think I've figured it out for the most part. Your scent doesn't seem to bother me as much anymore, except for the other night. I wasn't prepared….your blood is so much more potent outside your body, of course. And before that….I thought I would be better to be safe and keep distance from you."

I nodded. "Seems fair," I laughed. "I was just wondering." Then I grinned. "This was nice."

"What?" asked Jasper.

"Talking," I said simply. "I've never really had a one on one conversation with you, Jasper Hale. And even though I've always considered you to be like a brother, like Emmett, I just haven't been as close to you…" I trailed off. Jasper was staring at me. "What?" I asked, embarrassed at his piercing gaze.

"Brother?" He asked, grinning. "You really consider me a brother?"

"Yes," I said, blushing. "Of course. I'm just as close to your family as I am to my own. It just….makes sense."

Jasper laughed. It was a beautiful sound. Unlike Alice's, which was like wind chimes, and Edward's, which was something I couldn't even describe myself. Jasper's was deep and made my face warm.

"Well thank you, Bella. It's nice to know what I am to you." He grinned.

"No problem," I muttered, still embarrassed.

Jasper stood. "I should go," he announced. I stood as well and walked behind him to the door. Then he turned and picked up my hand. "Goodbye, Bella." Then kissed the top of my hand. I blushed like crazy. It was like something out of an old movie.

Then again, I thought, I didn't even know how old Jasper was. For all I knew, he was that character in the old movie, kissing the lady's hand. Maybe that had been his life before this one….

He dropped my hand gently, nodded his head and walked out the door. I watched as he slid into the car gracefully and drove off with a small wave.

Jasper

As I drove away from Bella's house, I felt many things.

I felt very happy that Bella had forgiven me, and very easily. It was sheer insanity the way she responded to us vampires. But I didn't care.

I also felt resolve from Bella's mentioning that I was like her brother. It was nice, to have a established relationship with her. I had never known what I was to her. She had just been Edward's human girlfriend.

It was bittersweet, though. Just when I'd finally reached some sort of solid ground with her, I would never see her again, because of my brother's idiocy. I felt oddly depressed from this fact.

I now knew that him leaving would do Bella no good. She just felt so much love for him. I think Edward underestimated just _how _much. This couldn't end well.

**XxXxX**

**How was it? I hope it was original in some ways…I don't want to be totally cliché. :P But please, review and tell me anything. What you liked, what you didn't like and a suggestion to make it better….any ideas you have for the future. I have a pretty set plot, but anything you think would work nicely would be great. **

**Thanks for reading! **

**(And if you like Jacob/Bella AT ALL, I have a one-shot for that ship. Again, I'm firmly Team Edward for Bella…which is slightly irrelevant now that Breaking Dawn is out. It's all there is. :D But the story is AU and in New Moon. Check it out! I only have one review for that. ****L**** ) **

**The next chapters should be out pretty quickly, since they are done. :D But reviews will speed up the process. **


	2. Haunted

**Yay! People really liked my story! :D I was happy! Woo-hoo! **

**:( And did anyone else want to cry when you read Stephenie's blog? I did. :( I still have hope that maybe she'll slowly get over it and the vampire plot bunny for Midnight Sun will bite her again...and as for the leak...I WASN'T going to read it...because it just felt like selling out...but my will power died and I did. :( Now I'm sad because who knows if she'll ever finish it again. But it was totally awesome to know what Edward was thinking. :D And it answered a lot of my questions and most of my favorite scenes were covered in the 12 chapters...most...And I was totally right about something. :D It's sorta small, but I was thinking about it since I reread Twilight a month ago...and it was totally answered in MS! I won't say here, just in case you haven't or don't want to read MS, but if you do want to know tell me in your review - wink - and I'll message you.**

**Wow. That was long...I should let you get on to the chapter...unless you complete went pass the AN, in which case...curse you! **

**Lol. Okay, so this chapter is called "Haunted" after Kelly Clarkson's song. Here's some of the lyrics. I suggest that you listen to it - it's totally Bella in New Moon. :D**

**Btw: Don't own Bella, Jasper, or any of Twilight. :( I also don't own this song. :P**

_**Faster the days go by and I'm still**_

_**Stuck in this moment of wanting you here**_

_**Time in the blink of an eye**_

_**You held my hand, you help me tight**_

_**Now you're gone and I'm still crying **_

_**Shocked. Broken. I'm dying inside.**_

_**Where are you?**_

_**I need you!**_

_**Don't leave me here on my own.**_

_**Speak to me**_

_**Be near me.**_

_**I can't survive unless I know you're with me.**_

_**...**_

_**Why did you go?**_

_**All these questions run through my mind.**_

_**I wish I couldn't feel at all.**_

_**Let it be known - I'm starting to fall! **_

**You're the Closest to Heave I'll Ever Be**

Jasper

I knew it had been coming. I had _felt _it coming for a while now…how long I wasn't even sure now.

Something between Alice and I had…changed. I wasn't sure what, or why. That love I had felt for her, from her, in the diner the first time we met just simply…changed.

Maybe switched was a better word.

We hadn't stopped loving each other. We just switched what kind of love. Our love wasn't romantic anymore. It was more sibling or best friend love…but still fiercer. No normal sibling or best friend could love each other as much as we did.

The point was…we had fallen out of 'love'.

I'm sure Alice saw it coming as well. Literally.

We had sat down and talked about it for hours. We asked ourselves when it had stopped feeling the same. Neither of us knew.

The suspicion that Alice had seen it coming was proven when she pulled out divorce papers. She grinned slightly, but it didn't reach her eyes. "I thought we should get it out of the way…"

I laughed. It was so Alice. But it didn't make me mad, or even that depressed that by signing these papers we were separated. It was inevitable.

Alice stood. "I'm going to go shopping and file this." She waved the papers.

Of course Alice would go shopping at a time like this. It was her therapy. I decided I needed my own therapy.

"I'm going to go for a drive," I said following her out the door. "I'm not sure how long I'll be….maybe I'll go on a long hunting trip somewhere in the high mountains." I lied a little here. Honestly, I wasn't sure where I would go. Maybe I would do what I suggested….

"Have fun," said Alice. We parted ways then. I climbed into my Jaguar and began to drive. Half my attention was on the road, actually, probably less. Most of it was on what had just happened.

I wondered what I would do now. I couldn't leave Carlisle and Esme and the rest of my family. For one, I had grown so close to them since Alice and I joined them. They were truly _my _family. It was amazing how much love existed in our home, especially in great contrast to my previous 'home'.

The other, more embarrassing, reason was that I wasn't sure I'd be able to stick to the vegetarian diet without their support.

I wanted to, of course, if I did go out on my own. But without my family…I wasn't sure if I'd be strong enough.

Then my mind strayed to the next thought.

Who would I love now?

Honestly, I didn't think I'd be capable of loving another woman after Alice. And if I did move on, I was sure that it would be a long time from now.

Besides, who was there _to _love? There weren't any single vampires that I knew of, and of course a human was out of the question. I was no Edward.

I wondered then how our family would take our break up. Emmett and Rosalie were off on another honeymoon, but I'm sure Alice would call them soon enough. Carlisle and Esme would be crushed, I'm sure. After Edward had left Bella and gone off on his own, with very little contact, Esme had been a mess.

This probably would help matters.

I made a mental note to call home as often as possible on this little trip. No need to make Esme worry.

A soft pinging alerted me that I was almost out of gas. I looked around at my surroundings for a gas station. It was the first time that I actually acknowledged where I was going.

I found a gas station a mile later. I pulled in and filled up. Thankfully it was dark. I didn't want to chance driving to a sunny place.

When I finally got on the road again, I kept away from my thoughts and searched for a sign to indicate where I was.

I was just entering Hoquiam. I was in Washington. Barley no time at all for a vampire driving a fast car to make it to Forks.

Why had a driven here? I asked myself, still debating whether or not to continue on my way, or to turn away now.

Edward had told us never to see Bella again. We were to give her room to get over him. Alice had even been told not to look into her future anymore.

How long had it been since we'd left? Since that nice conversation Bella and I had?

It was the second of December now. We'd left a few days after her birthday…almost four months.

I wondered how she was. Was she okay? It was then that I made the decision to continue on to Forks. I'd just look into her window or something and check in on her. Knowing Bella she could have broken a few bones since we'd left.

I was in Forks in quick time. I drove to our old home first and parked by car. Then I took off running through the forest to Bella's house. I stopped at the edge of the forest were it met her yard. From here I had a great view into the kitchen window. With my excellent vision I could see the inside as if I were placing my nose right up against the glass.

Bella and her father were sitting down at the table, eating dinner. Charlie was eating what I was pretty sure was his second helping. Bella was staring down at her plate, moving her fork around. Once and a while she'd raise it and eat.

It was then that I was hit by a waves of emotions. Mostly depression. Loneliness. An overwhelming amount of rejection. My head ached just trying to sort it all out.

Usually I could deal with the regular teen angst I felt on a daily basis at high school. I was about to compartmentalize it so I didn't always have to feel it's full effects. But this was nothing compared to the 358 students at Forks High School. It was amazing that one person could feel so much….

And I knew it was only one person. Bella.

The emotions actually knocked me back. I leaned up against the tree behind me, separating the emotions coming off Bella from my own. Once I had a handle on it, I looked back into the kitchen. Bella was at the kitchen sink, washing the dishes. Her emotion never changed. Never lessened.

I knew she would feel this way when Edward left. I knew she wouldn't adjust well to normal life as Edward had thought. But I never considered the amount of pain she would feel, and most certainly not this potent, especially after almost four months.

My head ached at the thought of her emotions right after he left, and the days following. I know it had to be worst than this, but that was hard to imagine.

My sharp eyes followed Bella as she cleaned up in the kitchen, and when she walked up the stairs I walked over to where her bedroom window was. The light was on inside it.

I climbed up a tree about ten feet from the house and sat on a strong limb, making sure I was out of sight. Bella had changed into night clothes. She was sitting at her desk, maybe doing homework.

She stayed that way for about an hour before switching off the lights and going to bed. But she didn't go to sleep for many more hours. I knew because her emotions never lessened. Usually sleeping people were calm, unless they were having a nightmare.

I think Bella did fall asleep. There was about thirty minutes or so when she was void of most emotions, another 'feeling' most sleeping people felt in the first hour or so of sleep.

Then a nightmare started.

At first I thought she had awoken. Then I realized that, if possible, the feeling of dread and pain was stronger. There was no control to these emotions. There was also an edge of panic. It was most defiantly a nightmare.

I sat outside her window all night. When she got up for school, I followed her still. I looked into the kitchen in the morning, then ran to the high school. I stayed in the woods just outside the campus, but through all the students, I think I felt Bella's damper emotions.

At lunch I spotted her through the cafeteria, eating alone. Well, she was sort of eating. Like last night at dinner she played with it a lot, and ate about half.

She got home and I followed her. This time I snuck in her window while she was in the kitchen, doing her homework at the dinner table. I sat on the stairs, watching her.

Later she started dinner for Charlie. Like the rest of her day, she walked around like….a zombie. Like she was on autopilot. And her damn emotions never changed. After hanging around her all day, even with some control over not letting her strong emotions get to me, my head ached. I wasn't even aware the vampire's heads could hurt until today.

I couldn't take it any longer. For some reason, it hurt more than I could explain to see Bella in such emotional pain. I subtly sent a wave of calm toward her.

She frozen then, right in the middle of chopping some vegetables. And the calm I had just sent her was slightly over come by suspicion. Bella turned her head in each direction, her eyes going over where I was hidden.

"Jasper?" She said in a strangled voice.

Bella

I moved around the kitchen starting dinner. I made something that would take some time to keep me busy. I was chopping the vegetables when it happened.

The fog over my vision lifted from my sight. I could see clearly for the first time for months. A pop went off in my ears. The sound of everything was sharp. My mind was clear. I had never even noticed it was muddled, really.

Along with all these things….I felt something I hadn't felt since he left. I felt….calm. At peace. The hold inside me was strangely full.

Why?

There was no reason for me to feel this way. I should feel the same horrible things I had been up until now. I was just chopping veggies. No reason to be….happy.

I realized I had felt this sudden change in moods before.

In the hotel room in Phoenix last year.

Jasper.

My heart began to beat fast. Adrenaline. I looked around the room, not daring to believe this was happening. But the name flew off my lips.

"Jasper?"

It was a moment later that Jasper appeared a few feet away from me, in the door of the kitchen. I stopped breathing for a moment. There were no words for how happy I felt to see him. How relieved. I knew I would feel this way at the sight of any of the Cullens, even Rosalie, but the conversation Jasper and I had a few days before….

"Jasper!" I repeated, but this time in a half sob. Before I knew it I was halfway across the kitchen and had my arms around Jasper's cold, solid body. It was like running into a wall. He stiffened at first, but I barley noticed. I was sobbing into his chest, clutching at his jacket.

I felt his arms hug around me though. Then I vaguely felt my feet leave the floor, then being placed softly on the sofa. Jasper kept his arms loosely around me.

I knew what I was doing, sobbing uncontrollably, was embarrassing. And stupid. But I couldn't stop. I tried a few times, but then more tears followed.

The weirdest part….I wasn't sad really. I was just so relieved that he was here. To see that they were real.

Finally I was reduced to only sniffles. I was sure I was dehydrated now. I looked up at Jasper's face sheepishly. He was looking down at me quizzically. When he noticed I was done crying, though, he dabbed at my face with his sleeve. I noticed that there was a dark wet place on his shirt and blushed.

Then I realized another…problem.

"Jasper." My voice came out as a whisper. "Are you okay….you know….are you thirsty by being so close to me?"

Jasper grinned a little. "No, Bella." His voice sounded amazing to my ears. "Do you remember our last conversation?" Of course, I thought. How could I forget? "Well I think I finally have the 'mind over matter' thing down." He looked pleased with himself. "Even your ridiculous amount of blushing isn't that bothersome." I blushed again, and tried to forget the other vampire that had used the same term.

"That's good," mumbled into his shoulder, as I tried to hide my face.

"I'm curious, Bella." I looked up at him again. "Why were you crying? You're emotions were anything but sad. You were very contented, actually. And relieved. I don't see a reason why you were crying."

That sparked another blush. "Yes…I was relieved. I don't know why I cried so much." Then I looked at him hesitantly. "Why are you here? Are the others…" I trailed off. I think we both knew what I meant by 'others'.

"No, they aren't here with me," he said with a frown. "I'm here because…well, the other day Alice and I broke up. We got a divorce, actually. She went shopping and I took a drive and ended up near Forks."

I was stunned. "You. And. Alice……what?"

He grinned sarcastically. "Yes. Our love changed for each other. We're more of best friends now. Siblings even. We just don't have a romantic spark for each other any more. We both saw it coming for a while."

I took a minute or two to absorb this. "And you came to Forks?"

"Yes," Jasper answered. "I didn't really mean to. I was just driving, and I guess I automatically went here. Then I decided to check on you….I never imagined you would be so…" He frowned, looking for words. "Heart broken."

I flinched, and looked away. I felt his cold hand on my hot face. He turned it so I was looking at him. Something burned in his amber eyes. "He was an idiot to think this could be good for you." I didn't feel the usual stab in my heart as he referred to him. I could only focus on Jasper's eyes.

Jasper sighed then. He turned to the door. "Charlie is pulling onto the street," he said. I jumped up and ran to the kitchen. The dinner I was making before Jasper made himself known was out of the question. I got some leftovers out of the fridge and put them in the microwave.

I turned back to Jasper. "Stay here," I blurted out.

He looked hesitant. "Okay." My heart jumped. "But I think that it would be better if Charlie didn't know I was…." He grinned. "He probably would care so much if it was Alice, or Rosalie, but I don't think he wants you around another Cullen boy - even if he really is a Hale."

"Go up to my room," I told him. "I'll be up there soon."

"Okay," he said, then paused. "And Bella," he told me while touching my cheek lightly. "Please eat all of your food. I see you've been neglecting yourself. You've lost at least ten pounds." His tone was full of disapproval.

I frowned. I had barley noticed. Did I really look that bad? "I promise." Jasper look pleased, then he was gone from the room just when I heard Charlie open the door.

"Hey, Dad!" I called from the kitchen. I heard a stunned silence. I flinched as I imagined the last few months. I never talked without being asked a direct question.

"Hey, Bells," he finally said, walking into the kitchen.

"I'm just warming up the leftovers from Tuesday," I told him, getting the plates and silverware. "I got preoccupied with homework," I lied.

"That's fine, Bells," Charlie told me. He went to go check the scores for some game. When we sat down to eat I did what Jasper said and ate everything on my plate. When I was done I felt oddly stuffed. I hadn't felt that for a while, I realized.

I quickly cleaned the kitchen then went up the stairs. I wanted to hurry, but that would alert Charlie that something was up. So I took them slowly.

Would Jasper really be in my room? Did he leave?

I took a deep breath before I opened my door, hoping I would see him on the other side.

I did.

XXXX

**:D Yay Jasper/Bella bonding! It's the bestest. **

**Yes, I said bestest. **

**:P **

**Okay, so I really hope you like this! Please review - I love to get them, they make me smile. :D **

**And again, send any suggestions you have for the story. :D I love those too. **

**Other than that...go ahead and keep you thoughts with Stephenie Meyer. There is no way to know how horrible she feels right now. :( So betrayed, I'd say. I can understand how she just **_**can't **_**write right now...but I hope that changes. :( **


	3. Pieces

**And here is the third chapter, titlied **_**Pieces**_**! The song below is from Red. It's a really good song, slow and kinda relaxing. :D And very much fits this chapter. :P I hope you like this! I have the whole story planned, and up to chapter 6 done. :D Yay!**

_**I'm here again**_

_**1000 miles away from you**_

_**A broken mess**_

_**Just scattered pieces of who I am**_

_**I tried so hard**_

_**Thought do this on my own**_

_**I've lost so much along the way**_

_**Then I see your face**_

_**I know I'm finally yours**_

_**I find everything**_

_**I thought I'd lost before**_

_**You call my name**_

_**I come to you in pieces**_

_**So you can make me whole**_

**You're The Closest to Heaven I'll Ever Be**

Jasper

I went up to Bella's room first, then climbed out her window. I had to call Esme and Carlisle before they began to worry too much.

Once I was in the forest, I picked my small phone out of my pocket and dialed the number. Esme picked up after one ring.

"Hello?" she said quickly.

"Hello, Esme," I greeted.

"Jasper!" she breathed, relieved. "Oh, you had me worried. You've been gone two days without a word!"

I flinched. I should have called her last night. "Sorry, Esme. I lost track of time." I paused for a moment and asked, "I suppose Alice told you, correct?"

"Yes," confirmed Esme. I could almost feel her sadness over the phone.

"Don't be sad, Esme," I soothed in a soft voice. "It was a mutual decision. It's what is best for us."

It took a minute for her to answer. "Of course," she said. "Where are you Jasper?" She began the interrogation.

I couldn't tell her the truth. We had promised Edward not to interfere with Bella's life anymore, and if he happened to drop by he would know from Esme's thoughts that I had broken that promise.

"I'm somewhere in the mountains," I lied smoothly. "I'll probably be gone for a few weeks. I've missed having an extended hunting trip." It was then I made a mental note to go hunting after Bella fell asleep. I did not want to tempt fate, if I was really going to stay with her.

"That sounds nice," said Esme. "Please call a lot, and come back soon. Have fun." I reassured her, then hung up. I went back to Bella's house and into her room.

I had never been in Bella's room before, of course. It was pretty typical, I suppose. I could tell her walls were the same from her childhood, and the lace over the windows. I wandered over to her bookcase. It was stuffed full of classics.

There were a few books on the bottom shelf that didn't seem worn at all. Bella must have never read them. I picked one up. It was a historical fiction set in the civil war. I grinned when I saw it.

I took the book over to the old rocking chair and began to read. Unlike most of my siblings, I liked to read at human pace. Or at least when it was for pleasure.

When the door opened a while later I looked up. Bella was standing in the doorway, swelling with happiness. I could tell she thought I wasn't going to stay.

She quietly shut the door and walked over to me, whispering so Charlie could hear, though it was doubtful since he was watching his game. "What are you reading?"

I held it up. "I don't think you've read it. It was at the bottom of the shelf." I smiled again. "It's about the civil war, and I decided to reminisce."

Bella's eyes widened. "Reminisce?" she echoed. "You mean…."

I chuckled at her bewildered expression. "Yes, Bella, I was in the civil war when I was a human." She gaped at me.

"Wow," she breathed. "I never knew that….well, that you were the second oldest next to Carlisle." Bella hesitated for a moment as she sat on her bed. "Could you….tell me about it?"

I grinned. "Of course. Like any old geezer, I like to tell war stories." She laughed. I could tell that today was the first time of her laughing for a while. For some reason, I wanted to make her laugh more.

I told her about joining the war, lying about my age, and steadily climbing up the ranks. Then I told her about the night I was changed. She paled a little at my story when I came to the part about my diet for a hundred years. I tried to down play it as much as possible. Her slight fear made me uneasy.

When I told her about finally leaving the south, about trying to starve myself, then giving in, her sympathy was surprising. I guess it shouldn't have been. Bella had always reacted differently than other humans. I glossed over meeting Alice. It was sorta sad thinking that our love had lessened so much.

Bella smiled tenderly after I was done with my story. "That's amazing, Jasper." She shook her head. "I don't know very much about you, do I?"

"No," I agreed. "It's understandable, of course, your attention wasn't on getting to know the moodiest vampire in the Cullen family."

Bella began to laugh, but it cut off in a choking sound. I jumped up and to her side, placing my hand lightly on her back. I felt her giddy mood suddenly change to something similar to the despair I had felt from her earlier. It was then that I understood. I had reminded her what her attention _had _been instead of getting to know me.

Edward.

I felt suddenly helpless. I was horrible, causing her this pain. Making her relive that.

Sending her calming waves, I rubbed her back gently. "Bella?" I asked when she was calmer.

"Hmm?"

"I'm sorry," I whispered.

She looked at me, startled. "About what?" She was sincerely dumbfounded.

I wondered if I should even say it. Would she get that horrible feeling again? "About reminding you of…him," I said softly.

Bella blinked a few times, and there was a second when she felt that pain, but she forced it down and focused on me. "It's not your fault," she said earnestly. "It's mine for reacting that way."

I wondered if I was tip-toeing on eggshells, continuing on with this conversation. What if her reaction got worst? But something in the back of my mind told me that talking about it might help her.

"It's not yours," I pronounced every syllable slowly. "It's _his_."

Her breathing stopped for a split second and her nails dug into my knee. I hadn't even noticed she had been resting it there. Bella's heartbeat quickened and I sent her more calm.

Bella looked out her window, although there was nothing to look at in darkness outside of the glass. We sat that way for many minutes, but it seemed longer. Then she slowly turned back to face me. "H-how do you figure that?" she asked in a strange voice.

"He left you," I began. "He broke your heart thinking it was for your best interest -"

"No." Bella had interrupted me. She looked confused and pained. "No. He told me he didn't love me anymore. It wasn't for my best interest he just….he just grew bored with me." She laughed bitterly. "I saw it coming a little. I should have prepared myself. How could someone as beautiful and perfect as - _Edward,_" She choked on the name. " - love me."

I just stared at her. Did she really believe that? What on earth had he _said_ to her when he left?

"You're wrong," I told her. "He left to protect you. After your birthday…." I cringed a the memory. "He knew that even his family - the _friendly_ vampires - could be a danger to you. So he decided we should leave. So you could have normal and safe life." My voice became angry. "If he loved you, he wouldn't have cared. He would have done anything to be with you. Love is selfish.

"And now that I know that he made you believe all those lies - that he became bored with you -" I struggled to maintain control. My hand that wasn't on Bella's back balled into a fist. "That's just cruel. And look what it did to you. If he would have told you that he was leaving to protect you, you might have been able to tell him that it didn't matter. I know _you_ love him enough to die for him. You proved it last spring break."

Bella stared at me. "He…loves…me?" She said slowly. "But he still left…." I nodded in conformation. I brushed some of Bella's hair out of her face.

"You feel apart when he left." It was a statement, not a question.

"Yes," she whispered.

"I'm sorry," I whispered apologetically. Then my eye browns knitted together and I tried, and failed, to hide my irritation. "One thing I almost can't understand, though," I said, still wondering if I should even say it. "Is that…you _still _love him. I can feel you still love him, even when you thought he didn't love you. Even after he left and caused all this pain. I don't know how you can do that."

Bella's eyes were wide and pensive. Finally, in barley a whisper, she said, "I don't know either." She sounded surprised, like she had just came to this conclusion.

After an intense moment of staring at each other, I turned away and looked at the clock. It was getting late.

"You should go to bed, Bella. School is tomorrow." She nodded stiffly and stood. She grabbed her bag of toiletries and some clothes at the bottom of the bed. Bella was back ten minutes later, dressed in worn but comfortable looking sweats. She hesitantly looked at her bed, then me. I could feel her wariness to sleep, thinking I would disappear.

Only Bella would be wary of a vampire _leaving _her room when she slept.

"I won't leave," I told her gently. "I'll be here when you wake. But I do have to hunt once you fall asleep."

"No!" she said, and I gave her a pointed look, but she continued on anyway. "Don't hunt tonight, hunt tomorrow when I'm at school. I won't be able to tell the difference. But I feel better knowing you'll be here." She paused. "I have nightmares. You can calm me if they get out of hand."

That broke my resolve. "Okay." She smiled and climbed into bed. I pulled the covers over her, like a mother would do to a small child, then smoothed back her hair. "Good night, Bella," I said softly. I turned off the light, then sat in the rocking chair.

Soon she was asleep, her emotions almost nonexistent.

Then the nightmares began.

"Edward," she moaned. "Why?" Her words were muttered brokenly. "…hurt me…" Bella turned in her sleep. I was about to calm her when she said louder, more clearly, "Stop it, Edward. Stop. Lying." Her head shook fiercely, even in her slumber. "Go away."

I was frozen. She was really doing this, in her dream, at least. She was asserting herself. Finally facing her problem, through the pain.

"….help me…." she muttered now. "Jasper…" My heart would have quickened its pace, had it been beating. Without my help, her emotions calmed.

Edward had been right, I thought idly as I watched her soft face. Bella was _very _interesting when she slept.

Bella

My mind spun from the sudden revelation as I dressed for bed. What Jasper told me was truly news to me. I thought Edward didn't love me…but he did.

And he was still gone, anyway.

And why, even when he hurt me so much, by telling me he didn't love me, did I still love him? Jasper was right…it didn't make sense.

I was glad that Jasper would be staying with me that night, instead of hunting. As he tucked me in, I felt happier than I had for a long time. I knew it Jasper's doing, but not from his unique talent.

I hadn't noticed I had fallen asleep until my dream began.

I was in the forest, but not alone. Edward stood in front of me, just as beautiful as ever. The hole in my heart ached.

"Edward…" I said, pained. My thoughts for him were mangled. I loved him, I knew that. The words from Jasper rang in my ears. How could I love him this much after these four months of hurt?

"Why Edward? Why would you hurt me," I asked him.

His velvet voice sounded through the forest. "Because I loved you. It was the only way….for you to be safe."

"Stop it, Edward! Stop lying!" My voice surprised both of us. It was loud, so harsh. "You staying with me was what _was _safe for me." I sighed.

"I'm not lying," Edward insisted, but I couldn't believe it. He had lied so convincingly that he didn't love me _that _night. He stepped closer to me.

"Go away," I said firmly. He stopped, then disappeared through the trees.

I was alone, again. "Help me!" I shouted. "Jasper! Please help me!" It was surprising, hearing his name on my lips. But when Jasper appeared in front of me, I was safe. I ran to him and into his arms. They were similar to Edward's, but completely different. Jasper's smell was even different, but still intoxicating.

I wanted nothing more than to stay in his arms forever.

--

When I woke up in the morning, the dream stayed in my mind with more clarity than most dreams.

Thankfully, Jasper was still sitting in the rocking chair in the corner. He smiled when I turned to him. "Morning," he said cheerfully. "You better get ready for school."

I groaned. The thought of being without Jasper for the whole school day was maddening. He laughed, sensing my emotions and guessing why I was feeling that way.

"If you want, I can meet you for lunch." I raised my eyebrow jokingly and he rolled his eyes. "I would have eaten myself, by then. But get your lunch and meet me by your truck."

The plan was tempting. "I would love that….but I don't think we should let any chance of people seeing you…."

He nodded, understanding. I got up then to get take a shower and get dressed. The dream entered my head again as I stepped into the hot water.

Did this mean I was over Edward?

No, I realized, the hole in my chest was still there, but it was a step in the right direction. I had to get over him, I grasped suddenly. I just couldn't go on loving someone who said they didn't love me, but really did, and left me to fall to pieces. He wasn't coming back, he really thought this was best for me, and I had to live my life.

I was glad that Jasper had come, even more than before. If not for him….I probably would have stayed in these small pieces. Never to be mended. But I think that I was slowly being put together like a jigsaw puzzle. It would just take some time to see which piece corresponded to which. But I knew that I could do it, now.

It was true, that I had been in pieces - a broken mess - but I would become whole. Not on my own, I knew, but with Jasper's help.

**XXXX**

**See - pieces! :D **

**How was the Jasper/Bella bonding?? B-e-a-utiful! **

**Please, reviews are helpful! And they make me feel warm and fuzzy! :D **


	4. Sweet Escape

**I'm so glad everyone seems to like this! I'm really happy about that. :D It's because Jasper is so awesome. **

**Okay, So this song is by Run Kid Run and called "My Sweet Escape." It fits pretty well to this chapter, I think, except for the line that's (). It's a christian song, and it's really talking about God and all that...so that doesn't really fit in this story. :D It's a really cool song, and catchy! You should listen to it. (I don't own it, by the way. :P)**

_**This is it, confidence is all I need  
This is how You're going to save me from myself  
From all that fails  
I see You and me and everything in between  
And I know I'm wrong but You long to  
Fuel the fire beneath these tired bones**_

As I dance this road back to You  
A place of sweet escape I fell into  
(My everything will always sing Your glory)

Progress, I confess is way overdue  
I get caught up in the things that I've held onto  
For too long I've been alone  
I'm stronger ever step I take

_**-- **_**And this song is "Can I have a Kiss" by Kelly Clarkson. :D -giggle- Wonder what that means...**

_**I know why you left  
I can't blame you myself  
Must be hard living with ghosts and such an empty shell  
I tried to warn you  
I've been a mess since you've known me  
I can't promise forever  
But I'm working on it  
If I can't hold you  
Can I give you a kiss  
Can I have a kiss**_

I see that you're torn  
I've got some scars of my own  
Seems I want what I know is gonna leave me hungry

Bella

I was very thankful that today was Friday. School dragged on as I waited for the last bell to ring, releasing me. I wasn't comfortable being away from Jasper. At least we would have the weekend to spend time together.

I raced to my truck when gym was finally over. I drove as fast as the speed limit, and my truck, allowed me to. Of course Jasper beat me home. He was sitting in the living room when I got there.

He grinned at me and my heart melted. I had never truly noticed how handsome Jasper was. Of course that was because I had a boyfriend. And he had a wife.

I sat next to him on the couch and uncertainly leaned against him. I hoped it didn't bother him too much. It didn't seem to, though, because he put his arm around my shoulders. Soon, though, I got too cool laying up against his cold body. Jasper noticed and grabbed the blanket off the back of the couch and wrapped it around me.

We sat there talking for at long time. He got me caught up on everyone in his family, and I tried to tell him as much as I could about me since he had been gone. But I honestly couldn't remember anything exciting happening.

Jasper did ask me about my life in Phoenix, when he realized that there wasn't much to talk about from here. "It was great," I said enthusiastically. "I love the fact that you can stare up at the sky and see only blue for miles. And the smells are wonderful. Whenever it _does _rain, it has the strangest scent. It's almost bitter, and it takes some getting used to, but once you do you can tell when it will rain."

"Interesting," mused Jasper. "And how different is that than here?"

I wrinkled my nose. "Will first of all, it's always raining, so there is nothing else to smell. It just smells like the plant section of Home Depot here - all the time. And you can't see the sky. It feels claustrophobic." I shrugged. "But I guess I've grown used to it."

Jasper sighed. "I think I know what you're talking about. I can't remember too much of my human life, but I do remember the cloudless, blue skies. I took that for granted, then. Now I only live in places were you never see blue."

I knew that feeling.

"So…." Jasper began, beaming. "You sleep talk." I groaned, thinking of my dream. Why did this always happen? He laughed.

"What did I say?" I moaned.

He became serious. "You said my brother's name….and for him to go away." I nodded. "What was that about?"

I bit my lip. "I think my subconscious is telling me to just…let go." I looked up at Jasper's golden eyes. "Thank you."

"For what?" he asked.

"For…waking me up. I would have never been able to do any of this without you," I admitted. "But I'll probably need your help some more."

"Of course," he said, tightening himself against him. "Bella…" Jasper stopped. "Well, I just want you to know that I'll stay with you as long as it takes for you to be whole again."

My mouth dropped open. "Really?" I asked, unbelieving.

"Really." I knew he had sensed the disbelief in my voice. "I won't go until you want me to, Bella," he assured me. "But I think that I should make my presence known to Charlie, and the rest of the town, I suppose," he pondered.

"Why?" I asked. I knew that Charlie wouldn't like seeing him here.

"That way I can hang around here even more," he explained. "And at lunch with you at the school."

Of course I couldn't resist that thought. It was much too tempting. "Okay," I said after a moments deliberation. "But you get to come up with your own little story of why you're here."

"Okay," he chirped happily. I stood up a few minutes later to start dinner then. Jasper sat at the kitchen table, watching me with fascination as I hurried around the kitchen.

I was just finishing up when Jasper told me that Charlie was pulling around the corner. Jasper stayed seated, so I guessed he was going to introduce himself to Charlie. That made me nervous.

Charlie opened the front door and hung up his gun belt. That's good. "Smells good, Bells!" he shouted, walking into the kitchen. He froze when he saw Jasper.

Jasper stood and slandered over to Charlie. "Hello, Officer Sawn. I'm Jasper Hale. I don't think we were ever properly introduced." Charlie was frozen as he shook Jasper's hand.

"What are you doing here?" He asked, and he couldn't keep the harshness from his voice.

"I just finished my first semester of college up," Jasper lied smoothly - but then I remembered that he really had been enrolled in the college Carlisle had been teaching at part time. "And I didn't really want to go back home for break, as Alice and I have broken up, making family gatherings a little awkward.

"Carlisle and Esme said I could come back here for break, since they still own the property, and I decided to come by and see Bella. I know we weren't really close when I lived here, but it was a familiar face." I grinned when he looked at me.

Charlie glared at Jasper. "Is anyone else in your family dropping by unexpected, then?"

Jasper's face set into a frown. "If you mean my idiotic brother, then no. I haven't spoken to him for a month or so. He's in South America at a boarding school." Jasper looked a Charlie with sincerity. "I don't want him anywhere near Bella either, sir."

This seemed to cheer Charlie up, but he looked over to me with a frightened glance, as if all this talk about Edward would make me crack. And it probably would have before Jasper came. But it stung a little.

"It's okay, dad," I reassured him. "Jasper and I have been talking since I got home." I grinned. "I think Jasper should be majoring in psychology. He could be the next Dr. Phil or something." I quit my joking. "I'm sorry for the way I've been lately, dad. But I think I'm getting over it…slowly."

Charlie glanced at Jasper. I think he was wondering if Jasper's mere presence was really doing this much good for me. Honestly, I wondered ths same thing. Why was Jasper able to affect me this way? We'd had never really been close, as he had mentioned...but maybe that was why I had latched myself to him so forcefully in the past two days.

We all sat down to eat after a moment. I dished up food for Jasper, but wasn't really sure what he would do with it. I think he was hiding it in his napkin.

Charlie and Jasper talked a lot about different things. Guy things that I didn't really understand at all. By the sound of it, the two liked the same baseball team. I grinned as I thought of the Cullen baseball team. I'm sure Charlie would give anything he had to see that.

Jasper stayed in the kitchen to help me with the dishes. As I suspected, his napkin was full of food, but he had also snuck food on mine and Charlie's plates when we weren't looking. How could I have not caught that?

After we were done we sat with Charlie in the living room. He and Jasper talked a little about the game, and it seemed they were really getting along. Charlie's earlier scorn toward Jasper had completely disappeared.

Around nine Jasper stood and said he should be getting home. The moment I heard the door shut, I knew he was probably already in my room waiting. I excused myself, saying I was tired and walked up the stairs.

I was right. Jasper was in the rocking chair when I got up there. I left and got dressed for bed. When I got back I laid down in the bed, but didn't want to go to sleep yet. Jasper and I talked quietly in the darkness till my eyes were so heavy, I didn't even remember falling asleep

--

Saturday morning I woke up and panicked a little when I didn't see Jasper anywhere. Instead I found a note on the seat of the rocker.

_Bella,_

_I know you probably panicked at not seeing me when you awoke. For that I am sorry. But don't worry, I am most certainly coming back._

_On that subject, I have a wonderful Saturday planned for us. It will be normal, nothing that will involve vampires or the things we consider 'fun', like baseball. I don't think you've had a normal outing for a while._

_I will pick you up at nine o'clock. Write a note to Charlie saying you've gone to Port Angeles just incase we aren't back before him_

_ - Jasper_

At least he hadn't left. But the mini heart attack wasn't the best feeling in the world first thing in the morning.

I glanced over at the clock - it was 8:32. With one nervous glance at Jasper's neat writing I began to get ready.

As I stepped into the shower I couldn't stop the butterflies that invaded my stomach as I thought about what Jasper had planned. Why was I so nervous? It was just a day with Jasper. And a pretty normal one by the sound of it.

The doorbell ran when I put my finished cereal bowl in the sink. I had already written my note to Charlie, so I grabbed my jacket and shrugged it on as I opened the door. Jasper was standing under the roof's edge, and I could see a light drizzle behind him. He smiled and the butterflies make themselves known again.

"Hello, Bella," he greeted, flipping his completely dry honey hair back.

"Hi, Jasper," I returned.

Of course Jasper's car was shinny and fast looking. "It's a Jaguar," he said, grinning as we shut our doors.

Even I knew that was a nice car. And it really seemed to fit Jasper.

The drive to Port Angeles didn't take very long at all, not only because of Jasper's speeding, but for the fact that I seemed to laugh mostly the whole ride.

I never knew Jasper was this funny. I always thought Emmett was the comical one in the family, but so was Jasper. Granted, his humor was mostly sarcastic, just the way I liked it.

First we saw a movie, and since I didn't think I could really deal with the romantic show, and had little desire to see a zombie movie, we saw the comedy that didn't seem to have any point to it. But it was great, because Jasper kept whispering stuff in my ear that made the movie even funnier.

We walked out on the pier after the movie, and stopped somewhere for lunch. Well, for me. We found a book store after that, and I spent pretty much an hour and a half before Jasper decided we should leave. He paid for my stack of books and carried them to the Jaguar.

When we got home we went into the living room, and since there wasn't much else to do, we put in another movie from Charlie's small collection. I wrapped myself in a blanket and leaned into Jasper, and he put his arm around my shoulder.

Today had been amazing. I actually felt normal. I hadn't done anything like this for months. I just stuck to a schedule. Wake up, school, work, home, sleep. I was glad that Jasper broke that for me.

Jasper 

I was staring at Bella as she watched the movie. The light from the screen lit up her pale features.

I thought today was wonderful. Bella seemed to be happy, as well, and that was the whole point of the outing. I wanted to make her happy. She had been so downtrodden for months.

Every so often Bella would catch me staring and blush. Every time she did so, my emotions flared.

At first, I thought that it was because of our close proximity, and the sudden rush of blood to her face was just causing my will power to be tested.

Then I examined my emotions closer. It wasn't the same feeling as blood lust, I realized. I think I was mostly pass that.

What was it then? I glanced at Bella's delicate, soft face. What was this strange feeling?

Then I comprehended it with a thrill of what it was.

It was so similar, but different, than the first time, that I hadn't even recognized it at first. The first time it had happened, I had been partly influenced by another person's emotions, and was influenced instantly to match them.

Love.

The first time, with Alice, she always _knew _she loved me, from the moment she awoke to this new life. And when I first felt those emotions, I felt them for her as well. It wasn't a mistake that I loved her for so long, but the way that love actually came about was different than this time. That was brought on by another's feelings, that I was so sensitive to.

This love, though, was very different. It was I who developed this love for Bella. No other feelings influenced me to feel this way.

I must have made a gasping sound when I realized this, because Bella turned to me with a questioning look.

Should I say my feelings? Act on them? Bella was just getting over Edward - my _brother_- and this may just confuse her further.

Despite all the reasons I could think up, I couldn't' stop the words that spilled out of my mouth.

"Bella," I whispered. "I think - no - I _know_….I love you."

Bella stared at me, barley breathing. "W-what?"

"I love you," I repeated. "I don't even understand how it happened. You were my brother's girlfriend! You are just healing from those wounds he left. I just got divorced, for God's sake!" My eyes pleased with her wide ones. "But I am," I said in no more than a whisper.

I became nervous when Bella didn't say anything. Had I scared her? Had I just ruined our developing friendship with my confession? I didn't want to lose any sort of a relationship with Bella, even if it was strictly platonic. I couldn't get a grip on my emotions, so I couldn't even begin to decipher hers.

"I…" Bella began, trailing off. Bella's eyes suddenly told me all the emotions I could now feel, full force. Nervousness. Hesitancy. Love. "I do, too." Surprised showed on her face. "I really do! I can't believe it, Jasper." She looked at me, a few happy tears falling down her face. "I feel whole, Jasper."

I reached up and brushed the tears from her face. Her hand flew up to mine, holding it to her cheek. Our eyes stayed locked for what seemed like hours, but was really only a few seconds. I knew that she wanted me to do, and I wanted to as well, but how strong would I be? Kissing a human girl would be much different than kissing an indestructible vampire.

But I leaned in anyway, throwing all the worries out of my head. I could control myself.

My lips touched hers, finally. They were so warm, and molded to my own. I felt almost human again, listening to Bella's quickened heartbeats. This felt so right, kissing Bella.

XXXXX

**Giggle. :D So, what'cha think? I hope it wasn't too rushed or anything, getting to the romance, but I think there was a lot of development in just a few chapters. But please, tell me what you think! I'll get the next chapter up soon! **


	5. Come to Me

**Hola! Here's the next chapter. :D I hope you like it. Also, it's a little shorter than usual, but the one after this is pretty long! **

_**Under the silver stars,  
Right where he broke your heart.  
Girl you know, I'd give you everything.  
I wanna hold your hand,  
And say the words he never said.  
I'll make you promises you can believe.**_

Chorus  
Let me be the one,  
Telling you it's alright  
Sharing the smiles and tears you cry.  
Let me be the one,  
Loving you when you're weak.  
For all of the strength you need,  
You can come to me.

When you're down and you feel so lonely  
Turn around, you can come to me  


_**For the kind of love you can trust,  
For more than just a crush,  
Baby, why don't you just come to me?**_

**--Jesse McCartney "Come to Me"**

Jasper

Bella and I just sat there after the kiss, staring at each other. Bella had calmed herself a little, her heart finally returning to its usual rhythm.

I touched her face a lot, loving the warm feeling because of her blush. We were so locked in to each other that we jumped when my phone rang.

I answered without taking my eyes off of Bella. "Hello?"

"Did it happen?" asked Alice's excited voice.

"Alice?" I asked, confused. "What do you mean? What happened?"

"You and Bella, of course," said Alice, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. And for the psychic of the family…..it probably was.

It was still surprising. Did Alice really see this coming?

Bella's mouth fell open. She could hear Alice, too.

"Well?" Alice asked when I didn't answer.

"Alice," I said after a moment of stunned silence. "You saw it?"

"Of course," Alice said, insulted. "I've been seeing murky visions of this future from the moment Edward decided to leave. Even more when you decided to go to Bella to apologize. And this was pretty much set in stone when we broke up."

I could only sit there, blinking dumbly. Bella recovered and grabbed the phone. "Alice," she said softly.

"Bella!" exclaimed Alice gleefully. "I miss you so much!"

"So do I," Bella admitted, then glanced at me. "Alice…you're okay with Jasper and I, right? I mean, you just broke up….."

"Certainly, silly Bella," giggled Alice. "You two are going to make such a cute couple. Believe me." I was fairly certain that she was tapping her forehead knowingly on the other end of the phone.

Bella's face broke out in a beautiful smile. "Thank you, Alice. I don't want to make you mad at me."

I took the phone from Bella and put it on speaker for the two of us. Alice was started talking about the family.

"We'll be moving back to Forks in a few days, so you can still live with the family and see Bella," explained Alice. "Rosalie and Emmett will probably be following two weeks from now, but I have to call them first." Alice suddenly squealed. "I can't wait to see Esme's face when I tell her about you two! She'll be torn, of course, but completely happy to see Bella again."

I decided to voice the question that had stuck itself in my head, suddenly scared. "Alice, what about Edward?" I felt Bella stiffen in my arms. "The next time he decides to visit us?"

Alice took a moment before answering. "We'll solve that problem when it arises. But it will, I can tell you that." Alice's tone was dark.

Bella's face was pale now. I thought this would be a good time to get off the phone and talk to her. We told Alice we would see her soon, then hung up.

"Bella?" I asked her, touching her cheek. "Are you okay?"

She shrugged. "I guess…..I'm just….scared," her voice broke on the last word. "When Edward comes back and finds your family here - and us together - I don't know what he'll do." Bella frowned. "If he really does still love me, like you said, then he might try to dazzle me again. I don't think so, though. Why would he waste his time?"

I chuckled knowingly. "Because you're the most beautiful, wonderful, and smart human he's ever met. And I, for that matter." Bella looked at me with a disbelieving stare. "Really, you are. I don't why you don't see that." I kissed her cheek, trailing down to the edge of her lips. Her heart began to beat erratically, making me laugh.

I pulled back, inches from her face. Her chocolate eyes were so gentle and striking. They gave you a hint at her emotions if you didn't have my gift. I remember the dead look they had showed when I first arrived. They were alive now with happiness and, dare I say it, love.

"He was so obtuse, leaving you," I whispered, leaning my forehead against hers. "He can't even begin to fathom what he lost. But if he hadn't, I would have never been able to pick up the pieces. I would have never gotten this." I gestured to our closeness.

Bella reached out her shaking hand and traced the faint purple circles under my eyes, my nose, then my lips. I tried to stay still, but couldn't stop the not so honorable thoughts from entering my mind. She kissed me then, all her longing pent up in it. I only held back my strength so I wouldn't hurt her.

Bella pulled away from me, breathing heavily. She shook her head. "Before Edward left, I couldn't imagine living without him," she confessed. "I thought I would die….and when he did leave, I almost did. I never thought anyone would take his place in my life; even begin to fill his shoes." Bella laughed. "But here you are, and now I can't even believe I felt so much love for Edward. I can't imagine loving anyone but you.

"I know that Edward will always be my first love," she declared. "But he was also my first heartbreak, and, I don't know, that just makes me unable to love him again. I'm more…experienced now, I think." Bella struggled to find words. "I'm not so naïve. And I don't think I'm in risk of falling for Edward again, when he comes back, but that little part of me that still, deep down, loves him -"

" - might," I finished for her, my heart sinking. "Might fall in love with him when he comes. Want to leave me." I tried to keep the rejection out of my voice, but the memories of my days as a nomad vampire came to my mind. The lonlieness, living day to day with the constant knowledge that I was a monster, hoping I would die.

"Might," She clarified. "And that's a small part. The rest of me knows that I shouldn't - couldn't ever - love him again. Get sucked back into that storm. I want to stay with you. So I'm asking - pleading - that you don't let me fall in love with him." Her eyes were wild and demanding. "Don't _let him _persuade me."

I stroked her cheek again. "I would rather die that see you two together again. You have no worry about me stopping him from forcing you into a relationship. I'm sure my jealousy will flare up the next time I see him." I frowned. "But I hope it doesn't come to that. I don't want to fight with my brother. I keep hoping that he'll just accept us, but the more I stare at your beautiful eyes, the more I know there will be a conflict."

Bella blushed as I kissed her forehead. We sat in a comfortable silence for a minute or so, lost in each other. "I love you, Bella." My voice fierce with sincerity.

"I love you, Jasper." Bella grinned and kissed my cheek.

"Bella?" We both turned quickly to the door of the living room. Charlie was standing there, looking embarrassed to walk in on this intimate moment, but also a little angry. Bella's face turned a delicious shade of red.

"D-dad," she stuttered, trying to get up from the couch quickly, but she got her feet tangled in the blanket and fell back onto my lap. I pretty much went into hysterics laughing so much at the shade on her face - it was one people only saw on fire trucks.

I helped Bella to her feet this time, still chuckling at her glowing face. "Hello, Charlie." I said, looking properly sheepish. "I'm sure you're not too happy about finding us like this…"

Charlie glared at me for a moment, then looked at Bella. His expression soften. I knew he was just happy that Bella was in high spirits again. The fact that it was me mattered very little.

"It's not exactly how I like to see my daughter, no," agreed Charlie. But he grinned at Bella. "But it sure is nice to see you blush again, Bella. I haven't see color on your cheeks for months." This, of course, made her blush further.

I 'ate' dinner with Charlie and Bella again. Most of the meal was Charlie setting up boundaries for the two of us. He said he didn't exactly like that I was older than Bella, and out of high school. We shared a secret look, Bella and I. If only he knew how old I really was.

Half way through the meal I told Charlie that my family would be moving back in a few days. My excuse was that Carlisle's job in LA didn't really work out, and since I was already here it would be better to move here. "We really liked it here," I told Charlie. "And Carlisle likes the hospital here, since it's not so big. It's a nice break than the usual places he works."

"That's great, Jasper," Charlie said, truly pleased. "We love Carlisle at the hospital, too. It was a real honor to get him in the first place." Then a dark look found itself on his features and he spared Bella a quick glance. "And your brother?" He growled.

"He will be staying at his boarding school," I answered. "But I have no idea what he'll do when the family finally breaks the news to him that we're moving here. And when I finally get to tell my parents about the newest development between Bella and I, and that message finds its way to Edward….I'm not sure what he'll do."

I grinned at Bella. "He doesn't know what he gave up."

"I hear that," agreed Charlie, both of our comments making Bella blush.

I never wanted to stop seeing that blush.

**--**

**So how was it?? Like? Not like? Lol. Just review and tell me! **

**--OMG OMG! So the trailer was AWESOME! I mean, 'I-couldn't-stop-squeaking-and-smiling-like-a-fangirl' awesome. :D The part where Bella drops her apple and Edward kicks it up and catches it - OMG. I love whoever did that. I so can't wait for the movie. **


	6. She Will Be Loved

**And here is the next, epic, chapter to 'You're the Closest to Heaven I'll ever be'!! **

**Hey! Here's is an awesome story by ****flowermasters****. It's Jasper POV during Bella's party - and it's pretty much how I imagined Jasper would be thinking when I began this story! So go read it! It's basicly a prequel, but written by a different, totally awesome, author! (Just take out the spaces!) **

**http : / www . fanfiction . net / s / 4502711 / 1 / Hunter**

_It's the way you're nervous when you speak,_

_And the way I know just what you mean_

_It's the kind of thing that's bittersweet._

_It's the funny feeling deep inside,_

_So many different signs, _

_But still so easy to define._

_Cause you know it everytime_

_And not just in your mind_

_You can feel the butterflies_

_Sending chills down your spin._

_What is love?_

_But a kiss on a rainy day_

_A smile that won't go away,_

_A safe place to run._

_What is love?_

_But a complicated simple truth_

_A bond between me and you_

_It's like dancing when you walk_

_And singing when you talk_

_You're happy just to be alive._

_**"What is Love?" by Play**_

_Look for the girl with the broken smile_

_Ask her if she wants to stay a while._

_And she will be loved_

_Oh she will be loved_

_Tap on my window,_

_Knock on my door_

_I wanna make you feel beautiful._

_**"She Will Be Loved" by Maroon 5**_

Jasper

Bella told me the next morning, before she went to school, that she was sort of nervous about me coming to school for lunch.

"I don't have to," I told her, not sure if I was offended or not.

"No!" she said quickly. "I want you to….I just don't know what everyone at school is going to say…." Bella frowned. "You know how small town gossip is. Last time you were here, Edward was my boyfriend, and you were with Alice. Now…."

I chuckled. "Oh, that." I shrugged. "It will be fine, Bella. You should sit with your friends, too."

She frowned. "I don't know….Jessica probably doesn't like me anymore, after all that's happened. And none of the others have really like me….except Angela and Ben."

"Then invite them to sit with you at lunch," I urged. "Then you can tell them about me, and Angela can tell the truth to everyone, so they don't assume the wrong thing, or exaggerate the truth."

Bella thought it over, and grinned. "That sounds great. I haven't talked to Angela forever…."

I drove Bella to school and dropped her off. Most of the students in the parking lot stared as my Jaguar pulled up, but thankfully the tinted glass gave them no hint of who was in the seats. I kissed Bella before she could open the door. Her reaction was always so funny.

If possible, I think there were more people staring when Bella got out of the car. I was sure that it would be the talk of the day - Bella Swan getting dropped off by a mysterious black Jaguar. I laughed out loud at the thought.

Lunch finally came around. I had arrived in the parking lot a few minutes before the bell rang and parked my Jaguar. I ambled to the cafeteria slowly, and when I arrived in the empty room, sat at my family's usual table. That was when the bell rang, and the hungry teenagers began to enter.

Most noticed me within a few seconds. I could feel their surprise as they caught sight of me. _"Is that Jasper Hale?"_ asked a small blonde girl when she entered with another, much blonder girl. I think that it was Jessica, but I never really paid attention to the students before.

A smile broke onto my face when Bella entered with a timid girl and boy - Angela and Ben, I guessed. She smiled, too, when she found me at my table. She waved, and people noticed.

The three got in line and got food - I hadn't bothered with my prop today. "Jasper," Bella breathed when she sat down next to me. Angela and Ben followed her suit, sitting next to her. Bella looked at Angela and Ben. "This is Jasper. I don't know if you ever got to know him….he graduated last year."

They nodded. Angela - bless her - put up a brave front, though I could feel her slight wariness. Angela had warmed up to Edward and Alice, but the rest of my family had never been so close to her. "I'm Angela," she introduced.

"Ben," followed the boy.

I smiled warmly. "Nice to meet you," I said, then turned to Bella. "How's today going, Bella?"

"Better, now," she teased, and she set her right hand on my left. Then she started to eat her lunch. The other humans did the same, though they stared at our hands. Bella noticed after a moment, and laughed nervously.

"I guess I should explain, right?" she asked, looking at Angela. Angela was curious, of course, but she shook her head.

"It's okay, Bella," she said sincerely. "You don't have to, if you don't want to. I'm just happy _you're_ happy again. And you're talking to me. I've…missed you."

Bella flinched as she was reminded of her 'zombie state.' "Sorry about that, Angela," she said softly. "I feel so horrible for ignoring you and Ben."

"I understand why, though, it's okay," assured Angela. "I probably would have acted the same why, if it were me…."

Bella nodded, then glanced at me. "So…I think I'll tell you the story, so you don't have to waste your time with the rumors that are undoubtedly starting at this very moment." Bella laughed bitterly, then she tried to find a way to start. I decided to help.

"You see," I began, and all their eyes turned to me. "It was about a week ago….my winter break had already started for my college and Alice and I finally had a chance to talk face to face….we decided that we weren't the best for each other any more. Over time, we didn't see each other as boyfriend and girlfriend anymore. Now we're just….friends. Siblings, really.

"I decided it would be less awkward for a time to not spend my break with my family, and instead decided to come here, and live in our house since we still owned it." I frowned, as I remembered Bella that first night. "I went to check on Bella. I didn't like what I saw….for the next few days we began a friendship, and I tried to help her out of her…storm, I guess is the only way to describe it." I remembered her emotions. It really was a storm.

I stroked Bella's hand, relishing her soft, warm skin. "And in the process, fell in love with her." I decided if I was going to tell Bella's friends the truth, I was going to go all the way - or at least as much as I could. I liked this Angela, and even Ben, though he hadn't said much yet.

"Wow," breathed Ben.

"That's certainly…unexpected…" agreed Angela.

Bella giggled and rolled her eyes, something she hadn't really done before, I don't think. Giggled, that is. It made me….happy to know that I was bringing out these new emotions in her. "It's okay, you can say it. My life has just become a sitcom - or maybe a soap opera."

Angela and Ben, and even I, laughed with her. "I guess it is…." said Ben.

"And what about…." began Angela. "Edward."

Bella bit her lip. "Well I'm hoping he doesn't show his face for a long time…I don't know how much more drama I can handle. But I know I'll have to face him sooner or later."

"And Alice?" questioned Angela, turning to me. That startled me.

"Oh," I said. "We're fine. In fact, she said that Bella and I make a cute couple." Then I decided to work in the next part of our cover. "She is moving back to Forks, actually. Carlisle, Esme and her. The job in LA didn't work out for Carlisle, and we liked it here in Forks. They'll be back within a few days."

Angela smiled. "That's great! I've missed Alice, actually. She kinda improved my wardrobe at the beginning of the year, and I really want to go shopping with her again," she admitted. I'm sure Alice would love that. "But what about your college, Jasper? Don't you have to go back in a few weeks?"

I had an answer for this, too. "I'm going to do some computer based stuff so I can stay here in town. As long as Bella wants me here, I'm staying."

"I have news for you, Jasper," said Bella. "You're never leaving." This made me laugh and kiss her cheek. That caused a surge of surprise to about half of the student population in the room, who were still watching. The other half soon followed as they were clued in.

"Looks like the rumors will be in full swing," I chuckled in Bella's ear, yet loud enough for Ben and Angela to still hear. I turned to them. "Maybe you could spread the story - it will be better than what they're probably coming up with."

Angela grimaced. "The saddest thing is that you're right. I'm sure Jessica is going crazy right now….I'll have to talk to her in my next class. If I tell her, the news will be around the school by the last bell."

We agreed on that, then continued to eat - or they did - and chat. Ben and I talked while Angela and Bella caught up on all the news Bella had missed. Ben was a pretty nice guy. I could feel the love he felt for Angela roll off him in waves, even when his mind was on our conversation about cars.

He guessed that mine was the Jaguar that dropped Bella off this morning, and I confirmed his assumption. "Nice," Ben said.

When lunch ended, I walked Bella to her next class, then told her I'd meet her outside the gym to take her home. Just to see both her reaction, and the students' around us, I kissed her lips this time. I was not disappointed.

I hung out in my Jaguar, listening to music, until it was almost time for school to end. Bella walked out of the gym, her face red with embarrassment. "What happen?" I asked in greeting.

She shook her head. "Nothing."

I ran my finger down her red cheek, which became redder with the action. "Doesn't look like nothing," I sang, grinning.

"No fair," whined Bella. Then she sighed. "I hit four people, including myself, with the baseball." I laughed as I tried to imagine Bella playing baseball. I remembered how clumsy Edward had said she was. "Stop it!" Then she groaned. "And next week we start _archery."_

That made me break out into near hysterics. I could tell that Bella wanted to slap me, but she thought better of it. "Should I warn the local squirrels, so you don't kill them?"

"I don't know," said Bella, her sarcastic tone dripping with venom. "Should I do the same so _you_ don't."

I rolled my eyes. "Squirrels, Bella? That's not appetizing at all. They are safe…from me."

Bella huffed, but then laughed at our conversation. We were on the way to my car, but a small group of students were hovering around it in awe, much like the did last year to Rose's M3. I laughed loudly as we approached. "Sorry, guys, but I have to get the lady home. Can you clear out so I can pull out?"

The small crowd of boys stared at us, mostly Bella in the same manner they admired the Jaguar.

Honestly, I could see why, but that didn't mean I didn't feel like breaking their necks as they ogled at _my_ Bella.

We finally got to leave the lot, and made it to Bella's house quickly. We were both surprised to see a yellow porche parked behind Bella's truck. The grin burst out on Bella's face instantly. Bella had never seen the car before, but she had a pretty good guess at who it was. The yellow little car just screamed Alice. She opened the door the moment I stopped and ran to her door - as best should could without falling.

I followed after her, laughing at her excitement. But I couldn't help feeling the same way. It would be nice to see Alice again, along with Carlisle and Esme.

"Alice!" exclaimed Bella from inside. I entered the door in time to see Bella tackle her in the same manner she did with me when I first showed up.

"I forgot how excited you could get, Bella," commented Alice dryly. But I could feel how happy she was to see her friend again. When Bella finally released her, Alice turned to me and smiled. "Hello, Jasper."

"Alice," I greeted, kissing her cheek. "I thought you said it would be a few days before you arrived."

She rolled her eyes. "Oh please, like I could wait that long. I've waited months to see Bella again." She grinned at Bella as she said this. "I convinced Carlisle and Esme to do an over night drive. They were very anxious as well. They miss you, as well, Bella.

"In fact, Esme said that as soon as you two arrived home from school, I should drag you to our house," continued Alice. "She wants to see her honorary daughter, and Jasper's new love, of course."

I laughed and Alice turned to me. "I can't begin to tell you how happy Esme is that you found someone. She hates for us to be unhappy," Alice commented to Bella, who was blushing. "She's currently trying to think of someone to set me up with. I keep getting visions of her changing her mind."

"Can we go?" questioned Bella. "I miss Esme, too!"

Bella and I drove my Jaguar, while Alice drove her porche. Bella could hardly contain her excitement, and neither could I.

Esme was outside to greet us when Bella opened her door. She was immediately pulled into a maternal hug by Esme, then after Bella, I was. Carlisle gave Bella a brief hug as well, and squeezed my shoulder.

The next few hours Esme fawned over Bella, and our relationship. She still felt sad about Edward, her first son, who was still suffering out on his own. She had told Bella quietly, after Bella asked if they had told Edward about the move yet, that she was dreading it.

"I know he still loves you, dear," Esme said. "And I'm going to hate breaking the news to him…..but I suppose it is his fault," she sighed. "It's just horrible - after all that time of loneliness, he had finally found something good - and he throws it away." Esme looked like she could cry.

Bella told Esme she was sorry, but she told her that she had nothing to be sorry for. "Alice tells us what happened when we left. I'm just glad that Jasper was able to help you out of that. And since he did, you two have a bond that cannot be broken. It is just like what happened with Carlisle and I." Esme held Carlisle's hand tightly. "Carlisle helped ease the depression and hurt after I lost my baby. If not for him I would be dead - both literally and internally. I would have given up all hope, even if I lived on in an immortal life."

I knew the feelings Esme let off well. The depression and sadness and utter brokenness she had felt when she committed suicide, was the same brokenness I had felt from Bella when I arrived. I knew that Bella would have never taken her life - she loved Charlie and Renee too much to do that to them - but if she would have continued on in that misery, with no light to guide her out of her darkness, no calm in her storm, even if it hadn't been _me,_ I have no doubt she would have completely died inside.

She would have lived on physically, but would have never lived in her heart.

And then I felt like crying at the mere thought of my Bella that way.

Bella

The Cullen home was just the same as it had been when I had last been there. It was as if nothing had changed. It was like stepping into a time machine.

After I had caught up with Esme, Jasper took me up the stairs to his room - which really was his own, now. Alice took their old room, and Jasper moved into one of the many vacant rooms down the hall. Esme, of course, had already decorated it. She had Alice's help to find out exactly how he wanted it.

One of the walls were all glass, and the others were a rich blue color. On the wall adjacent to the glass wall was a huge bookcase - it was like a library. Next to the bookcase was a small sitting area with a comfy looking chair and a couch, both grey.

I was about to sit down on the couch - to see if it was really as comfortable as it looked - when I spotted a few pictures on the other wall. I walked over. The biggest frame was decorated simply, and inside was a black and white photo, slightly yellow on the right side.

It was of a young man. A soldier. His hair color was evident even with the lack of color - blond, and he held my gaze with light colored eyes. I guessed blue, or a light grey. His face was similar to the Jasper standing behind me, his arms around my waist. It was rounder than my Jasper, and this Jasper's cheeks were flushed.

"Do you like it?" Jasper whispered in my ear. A shiver ran down my spin.

"Very much. You look so….dignified." I grinned, then shifted my gaze to the other pictures. There were more of Jasper, only they seemed younger. He was sitting in living room, with two younger girls beside him, both blonde looking like Jasper, though I couldn't be too sure from the black and white photo. There was another, older woman sitting on Jasper's right side, and a man on hers.

"My family," said Jasper.

"I figured," I whispered. "Do you…remember them at all?"

"Not particularly," he answered. "Until I was able to have access to records of them, after I joined the Carlisle and Esme, I didn't have these pictures, even. But I was able to track these things down at auctions and with private collectors. I had a few of their names, and mine."

He pointed to the two girls. "Those were my sisters. Andrea and Annie. They were twins, and four years younger than I. They went on and married, of course. Andrea moved west with her husband, and he was one of the lucky farmers for the time. Annie married, too, but she got involved in women's rights, so her husband left her. But from what I could tell, she was happy though.

"That's my mother, Sarah, and my father, Jonathan. We were middle class, so my 'dying' didn't affect them in that aspect, which I was thankful for even when I was in the south with Maria. My mother was rightly heartbroken, of course, when her only son was reported missing in action, presumably dead." Jasper frowned. "But she was never really sure why I joined the war effort."

Jasper looked down at me. "I was the only son in my family, so I was expected to carry on the family business and all that. But when the war came around…and the papers were saying how shorthanded we were, compared to the north…..I just had to help. My family had never owned a slave, but the true reason for the war never really entered my mind." Jasper shrugged.

I looked at the pictures again. There were a few others of Jasper's family next to the first. "That's amazing, Jasper. I'm looking at you….and you're still here. It's so…strange." I smiled at him. "But still very cool. You'll help me with my history homework, right?"

Jasper chuckled. "Of course, Bella. And if you think that's awesome…." Jasper let go of my waist and grabbed my hand, pulling me with him to the bookcase. He knew exactly where to find what he was looking for, and pulled out a fairly thin paperback. He handed it to me.

_A Civil War Journal_

_Of a Confederate Solider :_

_Major Jasper Whitlock _

_(1844-1863)_

"Wow," I breathed. This was Jasper's! Human Jasper.

"I know," Jasper beamed. "I found this in the seventies -" Jasper rolled his eyes. "They found my journal a few years previous to the publishing date, with some old war documents. It was a find for history, but also one for me. It was very strange, reading it for the first time. As I read it - it starts out a bit before I enlisted, and ends a few days before my 'death' - I began to remember more. It was….interesting."

I smiled at Jasper. "Can I read it?" I asked, excitedly.

"Of course," grinned Jasper. "I'd be insulted if you didn't."

After another few minutes of exploring Jasper's bookcase, he pulled me out the door and back to his Jaguar so he could take me home. I still had to make dinner for Charlie.

"I can't believe how great today was," I said as we entered the kitchen. I sat on one of the counter tops. "I thought it was going to be unbearable, with all the rumors, but that wasn't as bad as I thought. And I got to see Esme and Alice!"

Jasper stood in front of me, grinning. He put his arms around my waist. "I'm glad to hear you're happy." Then he kissed me.

"I'd be happier if you kissed me again," I said with a blush. Jasper laughed, but kissed me again.

Kissing Jasper was different than kissing Edward. If it were possible, it was better. I thought with Edward, it would never be more amazing - but it was, with Jasper. Jasper didn't….hold back, as much. I knew he wouldn't lose control, of course, but he didn't feel the need to pull away after a few moments.

With that in mind, I wrapped my legs around Jasper's waist. Jasper laughed against my lips touched my cheek.

Then the doorbell rang, nearly giving me a heart attack. I jumped and almost hit my head on the cabinet. I got to my feet, still dizzy from the kiss, and practically ran to the door. Jasper trailed after me, finding the whole situation comical.

I opened the door. Standing there was Billy and Jacob Black.

Jacob, who looked much older than the gawky teen I had first met on First Beach, looked ecstatic to see me.

Billy, on the other hand, didn't look happy at all.

I guess Jessica had done her job, and spread the rumors about the Cullens being back in town.

And Bella Swan going out with Jasper Hale.

Crap.

XXX

**Yeah, I know that Alice's car doesn't even make an appearance for a long time, but I would think that this car would jump out at Alice sooner or later. Even without a trip to Italy. :P And of course Bella would totally know that it's hers. I mean, you think Alice and you think a small, fast, bright yellow car. :D **

**And I wasn't sure about Jasper's position in the army - and I don't have my copy of Eclipse with me to see if its in there, so if I'm wrong, PLEASE tell me!!**

**-giggle- Don't you love sarcastic funny Jasper? Squirrels. LOL.**

**DUN DUN DUN! Drama is gonna start...muhahaha. Show of hands, who expected that? Either you saw it a mile off or it was a complete surprise! :D **

**So please review! I love it when you do so! It's my birthday on Tuesday, so consider it a gift!!**


	7. The Wolves Desend

**Here's the next chapter!!! :D I hope you like this. :P Please! **

**And I'm so sad! ****L**** I can't think of a song for this chapter….if you can, tell me! :P **

**(Note: TWILIGHT MOVIE FREAKING ROCK!!!!!!! -faints- If you want my full review thingy, go to my profile on deviantART: .com/ )**

Bella

"Jacob. Billy," I greeted them as warmly as I could manage. All I could think of was Billy paying is his son, Jacob, to come to my prom and try to convince me to stay away from Edward. I was sure this was a repeat episode. "What a surprise."

"Yes," said Billy. "I was just thinking that I hadn't seen Charlie for a while, and we decided to come over." He held up a bowl. "I brought some green bean casserole so you didn't have to go to too much trouble."

"How…nice," I said, faking a smile. I felt Jasper step beside me.

"Hello. I don't believe we've met," he said, all smiles. I couldn't even tell he was faking. Or was he? "I'm Jasper Hale." Then he turned to me discreetly and winked. "Why don't you come in - it's horribly cold outside."

Well, he better have a good plan. Bringing Billy into this house was the last thing I had in mind, but I opened the door wider so Jacob could push Billy's wheelchair in. The three of them, Billy, Jacob and Jasper, settled down at the kitchen table. I took the green bean casserole from Billy and put it in the microwave to heat up after I made the main course.

As I took the steaks out of the freezer to thaw and cook, Billy interrogated Jasper. At least, that's what it sounded like to me. Jacob noticed as well, and gave me an embarrassed smile that I returned.

Charlie came through the door a few minutes before I was finished with the food. He, at least, was happy to see Billy.

During dinner, Billy tried to give subtle hints to me that Jasper and his family were dangerous - I ignored him, of course, but it was annoying. I was able to get the conversation to only include Charlie, Jasper and I for five minutes, at least, when I mentioned that Alice had arrived today.

Charlie's eyes lit up. He loved Alice as much as I did. "That's great. What about Esme and Carlisle?"

"They're coming tomorrow," answered Jasper.

Charlie frowned. "So you and Alice will be alone tonight?" My face lit up like a fire truck with what Charlie was hinting at.

Jasper's eyes widened as well. I'm sure he wished he had said that Carlisle and Esme were already here. "Yes, Charlie. But you don't have anything to worry about. Alice and I are not like that….we're….friends. Siblings. I'm with Bella. I wouldn't do something like that. It would hurt her." The table was dead silent. Then Charlie grunted, and conversation continued again.

I couldn't help but think about that for the rest of the meal. Alice and Jasper, that is. Not really about tonight, like Charlie had assumed, but for the last fifty or so years. They had _been_ in love. They had been _married. _Alice was beautiful, and Jasper had…Jasper had seen every part of her. How could I ever compare to _her?_

After the meal, which I think we only got through with the help of Jasper's gift, Billy, Charlie and Jacob went to the living room. Jasper helped me clean up.

"Bella," he said after a few minutes. "I felt a lot of insecurities from you during the meal." I dropped the plate I was cleaning in the sink, blushing. Putting together my blush and when he probably began to feel my self-doubting, he put his arms around my waist and kissed me. When he was done, I could barley breathe and my heart was pounding in my ears.

"Bella. Oh, Bella. You are so silly." Jasper's eyes burned into mine. "Alice may be vampire beautiful - but you - you are beautiful in so many ways." He touched my cheek with one hand, and my hair with the other. "In fact, I think you were made for me," he said, grinning. "When I was alive, you would be quite the catch. Your features are so…old fashionably beautiful."

I was still unsure. "But Jasper….you and Alice…." I couldn't even say it out loud. I was so innocent. My face was probably the shade of a tomato.

"Have had sex," finished Jasper, frowning. I nodded. "You're upset, then?"

"No," I said quickly. "I'm not upset, really. Just…" I couldn't phrase this the way I wanted to. "I'm no Alice. I don't know anything about that kind of stuff."

Jasper shook his head with a small grin, then kissed me on the cheek. "Bella, I don't care. I love you as you are. Your innocence included. You don't have to feel like you have to prove yourself or anything. Yes, Alice and I have been together. And even though, at the time, I loved her, I wish I never had. I wish I had more to give you, like you have to give me if you wanted to." He shook his head again. "But I think that will be while from now. For one, I do not think I can handle your frail, human body. I'm not used to someone so fragile. And I want you to make the right decision, and not rush into something and get hurt. But don't worry, you don't hold a candle to Alice." He grinned sheepishly. "And that is proved by my sometimes un-honorable thoughts."

I laughed a little, and hit him on the shoulder - though not hard. I didn't want to break my hand. "Nice," I commented dryly.

We had just finished with the dishes when Jacob walked into the kitchen. "Hey Bella, Jasper," he said, pulling up a chair at the table. "Sorry to interrupt anything, but I had to get out of there." He looked at me. "Our dads have a limited conversation list. There is only so much talk about fishing and sports I can take."

I laughed, along with Jasper. "That's fine, Jacob." Then I opened the freezer. "Do you want some ice cream Jacob?"

A huge grin came onto Jacob's face. It still had some baby fat, but Jacob had definitely grown since the last time I saw him. "You know me too well." I asked Jasper for fair measure if he wanted some ice cream and he declined with a grin. As I dished up two big bowls for Jacob and myself, Jasper sat across from and they started a conversation about cars.

Boys. They're all the same, whether they're 16 or 180.

When I sat down, I just watched them. They were completely enthralled in their exchange. It was so adorable. They seemed like best friends.

A little while later I excused myself to the bathroom. I didn't think they had even noticed me, but on my way back to the kitchen I paused in the hallway. I heard my name.

"….Jasper are you going to hurt Bella like your brother did?" asked Jacob in a serious tone.

"I promise you, Jacob, I would rather chew off my own hand," answered Jasper, also in a completely serious tone. "I know it sounds extreme, but I love her. And if you ask anyone in my family, I like to keep a firm control on my emotions. I don't swing easily in any direction until I've weighed exactly how I feel." I smiled at that. Yes, it was true.

There was a pause, then Jacob said, "I believe you, dude. But if you do anything….you won't have to chew off your hand - I'll break it for you."

Jasper laughed. "I'll hold you to that, Jacob."

Once they had continued with their previous conversation, I joined them again, neither of them realizing I had heard them.

---

Over the next week, Jacob came to my house every afternoon to hang out with Jasper and I, though most of the time I spent it with Alice, while Jasper and Jacob hit it off.

I asked him why he had taken a liking to Jacob so quickly.

"Well, I've haven't really had a friendship since I was a human, besides my family. But I've been around them forever, and the only guys are Carlisle, Emmett and Edward. Carlisle and I get along a lot, but that's more of a mature relationship. Emmett is fun to hang out with, but you can only hang out with him so long before he gets dragged away by Rosalie, and Edward is always so serious." He laughed. "But Jacob is just so funny. Immature, maybe, but I haven't been around immature, not counting Emmett, for years.

"And I haven't really paid attention to humans and their ways for a while, and I have certainly not had a conversation with any besides you, Jacob and your dad. I forgot how….interesting they are." He laughed again. "Alice was right, of course, you only have to get to know humans, or at least know about them, and you see them as person, and the hunger goes away."

Besides the new friendship, Alice had returned to school. Her first day was met with many stares and whispers, but once the student population saw that she didn't care about Jasper and I sitting so close during lunch, it died down. Angela was very happy to see her, and they immediately started to plan a shopping trip, and I was some how dragged into them as well.

At least that venture wasn't until next weekend. This weekend Jacob, Jasper and I were going to the movies. Of course, I being a unlucky charm or something, we ran into Mike Newton, and he ended up joining us.

It was halfway through the movie when I saw the green tint on Mike's face. I asked him in a whisper if he was okay, he shook his head then stood and ran out of the theatre. The three of us went after him and exited the dark room just in time to see him run into the men's restroom. Jasper and Jacob both went in after him, and I stood in the empty lobby.

When they came out, Mike looked horrible. He was pale, instead of green. Jasper said we would have to drive him home. Jacob grabbed a popcorn bowl from the counter and Jasper gave him a thankful look. There was no way he wanted puke in his Jaguar.

When we got to Mike's house, Jasper and Jacob helped Mike to the door then inside. When they came out, Jasper had Mike's keys. He was going to go get his car tomorrow.

By the time we got to my house, I was a little concerned for Jacob. He seemed very pale, and when I asked him about it he said he didn't feel too good. I held my hand to his forehead. He was burning up!

"Wow, Jake," I said after telling him how hot he felt. "I think you're catching what Mike has. Do you want me to drive you home?" I asked.

"Naw, I can make it," he said getting into his Rabbit. "Sorry how the night ended up, Bella, Jasper."

"What can you do," shrugged Jasper. Jacob nodded, backed out of the driveway, waving as he did so.

I didn't see or hear from him for a over week.

----

At first it was frightening, then it just got annoying.

I planned to call Jacob the next morning, but instead I was chained to the toilet for most of the day. I wanted to kill Mike for giving me his stomach flu. When my stomach was all be empty, I hung to Jasper for dear life. His cold, marble body was very soothing to my fever.

The next day I felt much better, and called Jacob to see if he too was over the 24-hour bug, but Billy answered and said that he was too sick to talk. I called back every day after school. The first time, Billy answered again, saying he was still sick, but after that no one every picked up. It was like they were ignoring me.

Jasper didn't get any better luck. He called a few times, but still the same response. After a full week, I was ready to drive over the La Push and see what was going on. Mike was already back in school, and like me it was a 24-hour bug, and if Jacob had the same thing then he should be better by now. But I wasn't brave enough to go alone, and Jasper said he couldn't go onto La Push.

Finally, after a week and a half of frustration on the Jacob front, but happiness because Jasper and I spend almost all of the days together, there was a knock at the door.

Jasper and I were sitting on the couch. I was reading and Jasper was reading over my shoulder. When I heard it, I stood and walked to the door. When I opened it, I was surprised.

It was Jacob.

But it _wasn't_ Jacob.

This Jacob was many inches taller than he had been a week ago. His frame looked huge. His face had lost all baby fat I had noticed at dinner that one night, and instead was harder. Fiercer. And his hair, the beautiful, long hair he kept pinned back, was gone. Now he had a short cut, sort of spiky.

"Jacob?" I asked, dumbfounded. "What happened?"

Jacob didn't answer. Jasper appeared beside me, his nostrils flaring. Jacob stiffened, his nose doing the same as Jasper.

"What's going on?" I asked. "Why didn't you answer my phone calls?"

"Sorry, Bella," said Jacob, still tense.

I knew something was off. Way off. "Jacob. Tell me what's going on. Why are you so big and tall, when a week ago you weren't?"

"I…can't…" he choked out.

I was getting angry. "Jacob -"

He cut me off. "But you can guess. Do you remember those stories I told you about at First Beach when you first moved here?"

That was unexpected. But the answer was yes. I most certainly remembered.

Jacob continued after I nodded. "The one about the Quiluete people?"

No. I wasn't really paying attention to that. I was more focused on the story about the Cold Ones - the Cullens.

Jacob struggled for words. "About what my people….are…..the enemies of the Cold ones." Jacob looked at Jasper. It hit me. Did he _know? _Truly know?

That was impossible. Jacob always thought that his tribe's myths were laughable. He didn't really take them seriously.

"Please Bella. Please remember," Jacob begged, a hint of his vulnerability returning.

I tried to remember that night - the night I found out the truth about the Cullens. I couldn't quite remember the other stories….I remembered searching the internet about different vampire types….then the dream I had that night entered my head.

Jacob, telling me to run…then morphing into a huge, russet wolf…growling at Edward.

"Oh. A wolf?" I said, disbelievingly. This couldn't be it. "A werewolf."

Jacob grinned sadly. "Good to know you're smart, Bells."

~x~x~x~x~x~x~

**:D Well, what do you think??? Cliffy? And sorry if you think it's rushed - or out of character since in the actually book, Jacob was so quick to 'tell' Bella in this fanfic. My reasons are the change of direction that Jacob suddenly took - befriending a vampire - which made him question everything a little more….hope that's a good enough explanation! **

**:D Please review!!! **


	8. Miracle

**Haha. So I was courious as to what Jaguars (Jasper's car) looked ****like, since I just liked the sound of the car name with Jasper's, so I looked up some of the pictures and decided that this: http : // www . sportscarcup . com / cars / jaguar - xkr . jpg is Jasper's car. :D**

**And oh my gosh, you guys are so nice! The reviews I get are oozying with NICENESS! :D And very good feedback. :P One of my reviewers gave me an idea for a future chapter...and well, you'll see that when we get there. :D**

**Ok, so these songs don't really foreshadow anything for this chapter, I don't think, they just go toward the theme of **_**New Moon **_**and **_**You're the Closest to Heaven I'll Ever Be**_**. **

_And oh, oh, how could you do it?  
Oh I, I never saw it coming.  
Oh, oh, I need the ending.  
So why can't you stay  
Just long enough to explain?_

And when it rains,  
Will you always find an escape?  
Just running away,  
From all of the ones who love you,  
From everything.  
You made yourself a bed  
At the bottom of the blackest hole (blackest hole)  
And you'll sleep 'til May  
And you'll say that you don't want to see the sun anymore

Oh, how could you do it?  
Oh I, I never saw it coming.  
Oh, oh, how could you do it?  
Oh I, I never saw it coming.  
Oh, oh, how could you do it?  
Oh I, I never saw it coming.  
Oh, oh I need an ending.  
So why can't you stay  
Just long enough to explain?

You can take your time, take my time.

_**-When It Rains, Paramore**_

_------_

_I've gone for too long living like I'm not alive  
So I'm going to start over tonight  
Beginning with you and I  
When this memory fades  
I'm gonna make sure it's replaced  
With chances taken  
Hope embraced  
I hope I told you_

I'm not going  
cause I've been waiting for a miracle  
And I'm not leaving  
I won't let you  
Let you give up on a miracle  
Cause it might save you

We've learned to run from  
Anything uncomfortable  
We've tied our pain below and no one ever has to know  
That inside we're broken  
I tried to patch things up again  
To cut my tears and kill my fears  
But have I told you how I..

I'm not going  
Cause I've been waiting for a miracle  
And I'm not leaving  
I won't let you  
Let you give up on a miracle  
Cause it might save you

Get it right this time (this time)  
Let's leave this all behind  
Oh why

I've gone for too long living like I'm not alive  
So I'm going to start over tonight  
Beginning with you and I

I don't want to run from anything uncomfortable  
I just want, no  
I just need this pain to end right here.

-_**Miracle, Paramore**_

Jasper

The stench coming off of Jacob was horrible. It had completely changed from his normal scent, which hadn't really been much to begin with. Jacob's scent had never really bothered me…which made it very easy to be his friend.

When Bella said that Jacob was a werewolf…I was shocked. Though, I half expected it, in the back of my mind. I had heard the stories from Carlisle, about the werewolf pack they made a treaty with long ago, when they first moved here.

Bella stood there, as shocked as I was, for a few moments after Jacob confirmed her theory. "Oh. That's….predictable. For me. Another mythical creature in my life."

Jacob chuckled, then glanced at me. I could tell he was trying to muster up some hate toward me, but couldn't quite cut it. Bella noticed.

"Jake….you aren't saying that you hate Jasper now? Just because of a stupid legend?" Bella asked him, her hands on her hips, her eyes burning.

"Bella…we are mortal enemies," confessed Jacob. "I'm suppose to…" He looked at me, held my gaze for a moment, then his shoulders crumbled. "But I can't, actually."

I walked over to him and patted him on the shoulder. "Neither can I Jacob. Your scent drives me crazy, but can't say I hate you."

Jacob laughed. "Well you don't smell like a bed of roses either."

Bella looked at us like we were insane. "Smell? Jasper doesn't smell bad." She leaned in and sniffed Jacob's short hair. "And neither do you."

I grinned. "Well, you don't exactly have the best sense of smell, dear."

Bella pouted. "You mean werewolves have superhuman sense, too?" She stared at Jacob.

"Yep," said Jacob, popping the 'p'. "Smell, strength, hearing, pretty much all of it."

"Ugh!" exclaimed Bella, throwing her arms up in air. "Hanging around with all of you is going to give me a complex!" Then she stomped back inside.

"Don't mind her," I laughed at Jacob. "She commonly says stuff like that." Jacob laughed with me, then followed me inside after Bella. She was sitting on the kitchen counter, brooding.

"Bella!" I sang. "You know I still love you, even if you are incredibly clumsy and have no crazy powers. Besides a blocked brain," I chuckled, hugging her. She stayed stiff in my arms. I laughed and picked her up at super speed and she squeaked when she found herself in the air.

"Let me down!" She yelled, though with a laughing tone. "Let me down you nasty vampire! This is so unfair!" Jacob sounded like he was in hysterics, he was laughing so much. I put her down a minute later at the kitchen table, after she had started laughing, too.

After the three of us had calmed down, were heard at loud grumbling sound that even Bella's human ears picked up. Our eyes went to Jacob, who was looking sheepish.

"Jacob," laughed Bella. "Are you hungry?"

"Yes," admitted Jacob. "I always am now. I burn off a lot more calories now, transforming into a wolf." Bella blinked.

"Wow. Transforming." She grinned as she stood to get a snack. "Can't wait to see that."

----

Jacob stood up to leave a when it began to get dark. "I better be going. I'm sure Sam and the others have put out a distress signal. I told them I was going to run for a while. I didn't tell them I was going here."

"Why?" asked Bella.

"Vampires. They didn't befriend one before their transformation," shrugged Jacob. "But I'll try to convince Sam that you and your family aren't a big deal to us." Jasper had explained that the treaty still stood, and that the Cullens wouldn't do anything to break it.

"Sam?" questioned Bella.

"The alpha," answered Jacob.

"Oh…" replied Bella, chewing on that piece of information.

We said our goodbyes to Jacob, then we watched him from the front door as he ran off into the woods.

"Wow," breathed Bella. "This is insane. I must be a magnet for weird things. Or Forks is just some sort of Bermuda Triangle for the paranormal."

I laughed. "I don't know, I think it might be a combination of the two." Bella smacked me. It didn't hurt, so I laughed some more.

-------

"Jasper. Where are we going?" whined Bella.

I chuckled. "You'll see."

I was walking through the damp forest floor, and Bella was piggy backing on me. There was no way she would be able to make it through the brush and tree limbs without tripping.

It was a few minutes later that the trees opened into a huge clearing. It was the baseball field my family used.

"Wow," said Bella as I set her down on her feet. "It's different than the first time we were here. It's lighter, instead of so stormy." She bent down on her knees. "There are even flowers here!" She picked up a orange flower and held it out to me.

"Yep. I like it here. Emmett and I come here to do sports, and of course the family for baseball," I said. "But coming here alone has always been good. It's nice to get away from all the human smells."

"Hmmm," agreed Bella, sitting on the wet grass, then laying down. "It is relaxing. You can't hear at car or any other human life." She closed her eyes. I laughed and laid down beside her, and she nestled up against me.

It was the best feeling in the world, laying next to Bella. The warmth that emanated from her was comforting, and her steady heart beat and breathing could have lulled me to sleep if I were able. Overall, the life Bella had was beautiful. Simply beautiful. I couldn't hurt her now if I tried. I wanted her to be alive - to listen to her heartbeat and feel her warmth - for as long as I could.

We stayed like that for a very long time. I think that Bella had fallen asleep. I watched her for a while, then closed my eyes and pretend that I could sleep like her. That we could actually do _that _together. Fall asleep in each others' arms.

Then the smell reached my nose.

My eyes snapped open and I jumped to my feet. Bella made a startled sound and sat up, her eyes on me. I was staring out into the dark trees, at one spot.

"Come out!" I yelled, furious.

There was complete silence for a moment - not even the birds were making a sound - then he stepped out of the trees.

Laurent.

He was smiling sweetly at Bella and I - Bella had jumped to her feet when he first stepped out of the forest.

Laurent was suppose to be in Alaska. He was suppose to be learning my family's unique diet. But if his red eyes and murderous emotions told me anything, it was that he was not sticking to the diet.

"Ah, Bella. And Jasper, correct?" said Laurent. "How nice to see you again." I had placed myself in front of Bella already, ready to strike if I needed to. "I see that things have…changed since I've been away."

Laurent sighed dramatically. "Well, Victoria isn't going to like this."

If I had a heart, it would have stopped.

"Victoria?" asked Bella's frightened voice.

"Yes," replied Laurent sweetly, staring straight at Bella. "She sent me to you to observe. She is still very angry at your mate for killing James." He smirked. "Or should I say, ex-mate?" He laughed. "She wanted to take revenge. Kill you so Edward knew how it felt to loose the one he loved. But it seems like that plan will have the change…."

Laurent's head snapped to the right. Mine did as well. He heard, and smelt, exactly what I did.

A pack of werewolves.

They ran into the large clearing, one by one, a huge russet wolf last. His large black eyes stared at Bella and I for a moment, then the entire pack took off after Laurent, full speed, chasing him into the trees.

I turned to Bella. "Stay here, Bella! I'll be back in a moment!" I told her, then ran as fast as I could into the trees.

---

Bella

Waiting for Jasper and the wolves to return, alone in that empty clearing, was almost unbearable. I kept staring into the dark abyss of the forest, waiting for Jasper. It was like the first time here in this clearing. But instead of James attacking, it was Laurent.

I was pretty sure I only waited for a few minutes, but it felt like forever, because when Jasper burst out from the trees my knees went weak and he made it to me just in time to catch me.

"Bella!" he exclaimed. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," I mumbled into his chest. "What's going on?" I asked, looking behind his shoulder into the forest.

"The wolves are taking care of Laurent. They're burning the pieces," answered Jasper calmly.

"The pieces?!" I squeaked.

He looked down at me, his eyes wide. "I'm sorry….I didn't mean to alarm you. I just thought…I thought you knew that the only way vampires can die was to burn them."

"I….guess I did….I just never….thought about it…" I said shakily. "And Jacob….he's doing that?"

"Yes," answered Jasper. "Werewolves are very strong and very…durable. They can handle this, Bella, even though you may not think so."

How could I? I had seen vampires in action. It was hard to think of anything going up against one and walking away, even the huge wolves I had seen.

It was another minute later that Jacob came running out of the woods, wearing only cut off jeans in the cold weather.

"Jacob!" I exclaimed, stepped over to him, then threw myself into him for a hug. It was then I realized he was boiling. "Wow," I said stepping away. "You're scorching, Jacob!"

"I know," he grinned. "108 degrees."

I absorbed this information for a moment, then launched into a rant. "Are you okay? Are you hurt? That's insane, going up against a vampire! And holy cow! You're huge as a wolf! You were the russet one, right? That look you gave said it all - but then again, your russet coloring did give it away…"

"Slow down Bella," urged Jacob, putting his hands, which were as hot as frying pans, on my shoulders. "I'm fine. I'm not hurt. It wasn't _that _insane. And thanks, I am one of the biggest of the pack. Yes I'm the russet one."

I blinked, making sure he has answered all of my questions. "Okay…" I didn't really have time to say anything else, because two more boys came running into the clearing. One was older than either Jacob or the other boy, and other was like Jacob in many ways.

"The others are making sure all the pieces burn," said the older one before he even stopped walking. He gave a look at Jasper. It wasn't friendly by any means, but it wasn't one of pure loathing either.

Jacob sighed. "Sam….don't look at Jasper that way." He shook his head, then turned to me. "Bella, that's Sam and that's Embry." Sam, the older boy only nodded in my direction, Embry gave me a small wave.

Sam continued to address Jacob, and Jasper as well, I think, judging by his question. "What was the bloodsucker after?"

Jasper's lips were in a fine line before he answered. "He was after Bella. Or really, he was _spying _on Bella, but I smelt him. He either got too close or misjudged my ability. I found I can smell much further than anyone in my family." Sam made a sound, Jasper ignored it. "He was spying for another vampire."

"Victoria," I finished for him. They all turned to me. I blushed but continued. "Victoria's mate was James. He was a vampire that chased me last year."

"He was a tracker," continued Jasper. "He loved Bella's smell, and that my big family would offer him a challenge. So we went to Phoenix to get away from him, but he followed us."

"He made me believe that he had my mom," I said. "I had to meet him alone, to keep her safe…"

"So she escaped from Alice and I - not an easy task - but we were able to find her in time. Edward killed him, before he killed her. Apparently she didn't like that. She must have been closer to James than we previously thought."

"The leech that you used to be with?" asked Sam with distaste. Jasper let out a low hiss.

"The point is," said Jasper, glaring at Sam. "Is that Victoria is planning on getting revenge on Edward by killing Bella. She believes it is a fair trade - a mate for a mate. But the problem is….things have changed. Edward isn't even here, and Bella is with me."

My heart stopped as I realized something. Jasper turned to me, hearing it. "What is it, Bella?"

I started breathing heavy. "And Victoria still believes that Edward and I are together. Laurent just found out. He said he would have to tell Victoria. But he _can't_. She still things that killing me will be essentially killing Edward."

Jasper put an arm around me. "But Bella…that doesn't even matter. It will kill Edward, whether or not you two are together or not. He still loves you…"

It was silent in the clearing, then Jacob said fiercely, "Who is this Victoria? We'll help find and destroy her." Sam gave him a sharp look, but didn't say anything. I was sure he wanted to kill a vampire, even if it was helping other vampires.

"A red head," answered Jasper. "Her scent is similar to ours, of course, but she has a light scent of vanilla."

Jacob nodded. "We'll meet up with the rest of our pack and come up with a plan. I'll come by later tonight or tomorrow morning to talk to you."

Jasper nodded. "Jacob. Sam. Embry." The three of them stopped - they had just been turning to go. "Thank you. For getting Laurent. I don't think I would have been much of a match for him, I was too angry at him to think straight."

Jacob and Embry nodded, then after a long moment, so did Sam. Then they ran into the trees.

------

**DUN DUN DUN!**

**:D Yes, you thought I was gonna forget all about Victoria, didn't you!?! (Okay, so maybe some of you saw this coming, but a few of had to be a little surprised!)**

**So, what did you think??? Was it gooooood? :P Please review! I'm almost to 100!!! And here's a deal - whoever is the 100th reviewer gets a little sneak peek of the next chapter, because I'm so nice. :P (And prone to bribery.) **

**So review!!!**


	9. Let the Flames Begin

**Yay! Another chapter! :D You are so nice - again! All your reviews are really flatterying, and make my day. Also, one of you don't have a message back or anything, so here is your reply to your review (for chapter 6 I think):**

**To ****wordart10****, OMG you are so incredably nice! :D Next Stephenie Meyer??? WOW! And I wish I were signing with an agent right now. But I have to finish my manuscripts first....lol. I have, like, three in progress. :D So when I do get them publish, I will totally sign them if you buy them. :P**

**Gosh. I really get carried away with picking out songs for each chapter. XD I'm sure that it's going to give away....but here are three songs that 'fit' with this chapter. **

_What a shame we all became such fragile, broken things  
A memory remains just a tiny spark  
I give it all my oxygen,  
So let the flames begin  
So let the flames begin  
Oh, glory  
Oh, glory  
Somewhere weakness is our strength,  
And I'll die searching for it  
I can't let myself regret such selfishness  
My pain and all the trouble caused,  
No matter how long  
I believe that there's hope  
Buried beneath it all and  
Hiding beneath it all, and  
Growing beneath it all, and...  
- Let the Flames Begin, Paramore_

_I dreamed I was missing, you were so scared  
But no one would listen, 'cause no one else cared  
After my dreaming, I woke with this fear  
What am I leaving when I'm done here?  
So if you're asking me, I want you to know  
When my time comes, forget the wrong that I've done  
Help me leave behind some reasons to be missed  
Don't resent me, and when you're feeling empty  
Keep me in your memory, leave out all the rest  
Leave out all the rest, don't be afraid  
I've taken my beating, I've shared what I made  
I'm strong on the surface, not all the way through  
I've never been perfect, but neither have you  
Forgetting all the hurt inside you've learned to hide so well  
Pretending someone else can come and save me from myself  
I can't be who you are_

_-Leave Out All The Rest, Linkin Park_

_It's been a while since the two of us talked  
About a week since the day that you walked (__**more than a week, but you get the picture**__)  
Knowing things would never be the same  
With your empty heart and mine full of pain  
So explain to me, how it came to this  
Take it back to the night we kissed  
Who would have thought it would end up like this?  
Where everything we talked about is gone  
And the only chance we have of moving on  
Is trying to take it back  
Before it all went wrong  
Before the worst, before we mend  
Before our hearts decide  
It's time to love again  
Before too late, before too long  
Let's try to take it back  
Before it all went wrong  
We we're thinking we would never be apart  
With your name tattooed across my heart  
Who would have thought it would end up like this?  
Where everything we talked about is gone  
And the only chance we have of moving on -  
If the clouds don't clear  
Then we'll rise above it, we'll rise above it  
Heavens gate is so near  
Come walk with me through  
Just like we use to, just like we use to_

_-Before the Worst, The Script (_**This one fits more with New Moon than my story...but oh well. :P)**

Jasper

During the drive back to Bella's house, I kept looking at her worriedly. She stayed rigidly stiff in her seat, staring straight ahead with a blank stare. I also tried to calm her nerves, but that didn't seem to help. Probably because I couldn't really get calm, and I needed to be calm to calm others.

Even as I thought this, I couldn't pacify myself. Just the thought of Victoria…and Laurent….it made me want to punch something.

We finally arrived at Bella's house. She seemed surprised to be there, so I helped her inside, then to the couch. She collapsed their, still staring straight ahead.

"Bella?" I ventured in a whisper.

Bella blinked and looked over at me. "Jasper…." Her eyes suddenly became moist, quickly overflowing. Within a second I had her in my arms, and she was sobbing.

We sat that way, so similarly to when I first arrived here, for many minutes. Finally Bella's sobs quieted and she was able to calm down and speak to me.

"What's wrong?" I asked her softly. "Besides the obvious."

"Everything." Bella's voice broke. "Victoria wants to kill me to hurt Edward! And it will, even when he finds out about us! Not only would it kill Edward if she succeeds…but it will hurt you, too." She squeezed my hand. "I made this huge mess worst. If it weren't for me, James wouldn't have ever come after me. Edward wouldn't even know me. Esme wouldn't have lost her first son. And you and Alice would still be together." A few more tears fell.

"Oh Bella," I whispered. "It's because of you that all the good things that have happened in the last year. Edward loves you, and made a decision he saw fit. Esme doesn't blame you for that. And as for James…that was something that was unavoidable. And Alice….we probably would have split up with or without you. It was bound to happen sooner or later. We didn't even split up because of you. So don't blame yourself for everything."

I touched her cheek and wiped away the tears. "I love you. And I will do everything in my power to stop Victoria. And so will my family, and the werewolves. There is no way we can't win. It's one against many."

Bella sniffled. "I…I love you, Jasper."

I grinned. "I know, Bella." Then I kissed her.

----

That night Bella and I went to my family's house to tell them what happened. Alice didn't know too much these days, because of the wolves. It turned out she couldn't see them in her visions, so when one came into either mine or Bella's future, we also disappeared.

Understandably, Alice wasn't happy.

Esme, Carlisle and Emmett (he and Rosalie had just arrived that afternoon) were very upset. Emmett said he would do anything to help Bella, even if that meant teaming up with werewolves.

We stayed there for a few hours, then went back to Bella's house. She was much calmer now, after spending most of the visit to my house in either Esme or Alice's arms. She made dinner like usual, and when Charlie came home, I 'ate' with them.

Jacob didn't come by that night, so we assumed that he would be coming by tomorrow morning, which was Sunday.

And sure enough, after Charlie left the house to go fishing, Jacob was at the door. Bella hugged him when he came in, then lead him to the kitchen to make some breakfast for the both of them.

As Bella cooked, and as they ate, Jacob told me what the overall plan was.

"We'll scout out the edge of our territory, plus further into the city to sniff out where Victoria is hiding. We thought you and your family would be able to cover your territory," said Jacob; I nodded. "I also wore Sam down and made sure that there will always be someone in our pack outside Bella's house at night."

"That's a good idea," I agreed. "I'm always in Bella's room at night, so even if they were to get pass the wolf, they won't get pass me."

Jacob dropped his fork. "In her room? _Every night_?" he asked.

I blinked. "Yeah…."

"Oh, Jake," said Bella rolling her eyes. "Get your mind out of the gutter, please." Despite her teasing tone, a wave of embarrassment came over Bella. And Jacob, too, for that matter.

Jacob nodded and continued to eat and talk. "I'm pretty sure we'll find her soon."

I nodded. "I hope so. But please take her seriously. From what my family said, the ones who kept Victoria busy, that is, she is quite a graceful thing. She is probably a pretty skillful fighter."

Jacob promised he and the pack wouldn't get too full of themselves.

But he did role his eyes when he thought I wasn't looking.

------

Winter break passed, and so did Christmas. Just like her birthday, Bella demanded that none of us, including me, wouldn't get her presents, but like her birthday, she was unsuccessful.

Emmett reinstalled her new CD player in her truck, after I found out that she ripped it out after we left, and even got her a ipod and a few sizeable itunes gift cards.

From the bright red coloring on her face and embarrassing feelings coming off her when she opened Rosalie and Alice's gift (then quickly shut it) I was sure it was some form of clothing that Bella would never touch again. (Unless I were to persuade her, I'm sure, though I wouldn't.)

Esme and Carlisle got her a cell phone with all of our numbers programmed into it, plus Angela, Ben, and Jacob's.

But the one thing that Bella was able to convince me to do was not to spend any money on her.

After we had left my house on Christmas day, all her presents in hand, we walked up to her room. It was a good thing I was holding most of her bags, because Bella was completely shocked to see _my _present on her bedroom wall.

It was one of my original portraits. I had been painting for the last few weeks, wanting to get it just right. (I painted at a human pace, since I believed that only truly good art pieces could be produced as such.)

My picture was of Bella. I had painted it from memory, from one of the many afternoons we had spent together. It was after I'd finished telling her some sort of joke. She had just stopped laughing, but her face was still stuck in a huge grin, her cheeks were flushed and her eyes were sparkling.

Her grin and here eyes were the two center pieces of the painting. I had finally captured them just good enough to convey just a fraction of the emotion she held in her deep eyes; in her expressive lips.

"Oh my…" breathed Bella, walking up to the painting. She traced her own lips, then the gold frame surrounding the picture. Down in the corner she found my signature.

_Jasper W. _

_12/24/06_

"Jasper," she said, amazed, turning to me. "You did this?"

"Yes," I answered sheepishly. I walked over to her and held her as she continued to stare at it. "I've been an artist for as long as I can remember. Even in my human life."

"Wow…Oh! I remember now, there were some paintings in your room. I thought they were beautiful, but I just thought Esme bought them or they were some of your favorites….but they were yours, weren't they?"

I laughed. "Yes, they were."

"So…" said Bella. "This is my present?"

"Yes it is, dearest Bella. And I didn't spend a dime, not counting the art supplies I already had," I chuckled.

Bella grinned. "I'm glad. You are so amazing, Jasper. I actually look…" Bella searched for a work. "Beautiful, I think. Not plan. I feel like, if this painting were next to you, it would actually reach your perfection."

"Bella," I said, rolling my eyes. "I paint realism. This is you. All of you. You look like this to me, and many others, all the time."

She rolled her eyes, but smiled and kissed me on the cheek. "I love it, Jasper. And I love you."

-----

At the end of winter break, Bella and I used the tickets she got from Esme on her birthday. Of course, even in dead winter in Florida, I wasn't able to come outside for a few of the days I was there. Luckily, it was stormy most of the days and completely cloud covered.

Of course Renee had been told that Bella had met someone else, and that just so happened to be her ex-boyfriend's adopted brother. I was pretty sure she didn't approve, but like Charlie, she was just happy to know that Bella was back to normal.

I think Renee did warm up to me during our visit, though, because of my charisma, same way with Charlie. Phil was a pretty interesting guy, as well, and we had a lot in common, considering our age difference. (Both what he thought and what I knew to be true.)

And I found that I really liked Renee. She was such a cheerful person to be around. She rarely was sad, or depressed, with the exception of saying goodbye the Bella when we left. It was like she always found the good in the situation. It was refreshing.

But after a week, we had to leave and Bella and Renee said their goodbyes. Bella was still worried about Victoria, so she wasn't sure if she would ever see Renee again. I told her that was not the case, but she still had doubts.

We returned to Forks, and for Alice and Bella, to school, in January. The non-stop look out from Victoria was still underway. When we were gone, apparently Jacob, Sam and Paul ran into her on the outskirts of town. They tried to catch her, but as I predicted they underestimated her skills and catlike grace, and she escaped. But after this encounter, Jacob promised for real not to make the same mistake.

Now it was the second week in January and I was walking with Alice and Bella to my car to drive them home after school. I was keeping a firm grip on Bella's waist, since ice covered most every surface of the parking lot. I was laughing as she slipped again and again, each time gripping tighter onto me.

Alice, though, was silent. I was sure it had to do with her relative blindness, or the vision she had today at lunch. She didn't often have a vision strong enough to make her zone out nowadays, but she did today. I noticed it, but I wasn't sure if Bella did.

I was just wondering what it could have been when I looked up at my Jaguar. I was instantly frozen, rooted to the ground, and was pretty certain on what her vision had been.

Bella noticed I had stopped moving when she slipped again after trying to continue walking. "Jasper? What -" She looked at me, then to were I was staring. Her mouth fell open and her knees grew weak.

It was Edward, leaning up against his Volvo, staring at us.

**XxXxXxX**

**GASP! EDWARD!!!!! **

**It's what you've been waiting for (and asked for in reviews)! Edward finally arrives!!!! :P I'm sure you'll be looking forward to the next chapter! :P **

**As for that, I'll probably get that up in a few weeks. I have finals for math (wednesday), spanish and photography. I took my SAT this weekend, so that's over with. (I was in the the same room, taking a test from 8am to 1pm. Stab my eye! XD) But I have to finish reading my book (Angela's Ashes) and write an essay by FRIDAY!!!! And I'm only half way through with the book. :( Which is good considering that I only started it a week ago. Oh, did I mention that I knew about this since the beginning of summer? XD XD XD I'm such a bad AP student!!!! **

**So considering all that....I'll get the chapter up FOR SURE, by the weekend after break starts (so around the 20th?) Idk. **

**OH! Guess what??? I'm learning Clair de Lune for my piano recital!!!! Yay! I'm so happy! :D :D :D**

**ReViEw pLeAse?!?!**


	10. My Girl's ExBoyfriend

**Yay! Here's the next chapter! It's THE chapter you've been waiting for. Drama filled. Edward filled. Duh dun dun! And since I am now out of school for winter break, I decided to give you a little Christmas/any other holiday you prefer present!!! :D **

**Now the song for this chapter fits PERFECTLY to any Jasper/Bella, Jacob/Bella, or any other Bella/notEdward that's AU New Moon. :D **

**My Girl's Ex-Boyfriend by Relient K.**

_When he was seeing her  
You could see he had his doubts  
And now he's missing her  
Because he knows he's missing out  
Now it's haunting him  
The memories like a ghost  
He's so terrified  
Cause no one else even comes close_

(chorus) He's a guy that you should feel sorry for  
He had the world but he thought that he wanted more  
I owe it all to the mistake that he made back then  
I owe it all to my girl's ex-boyfriend

So then, along comes me,  
This undeserving mess (undeserving mess)  
Who would believe my life  
Would be so blessed (life would be so blessed)  
Two years ago (or a few months ;)_  
He left all that debris (left all that debris)  
Who would of known  
It would be everything I need  
_

_(chorus)_

_  
If it wasn't for him  
I would still be searching  
If it wasn't for him  
I wouldn't know my best friend  
If it wasn't for him  
He would be able to see  
If it wasn't for him  
He would be as happy as me_

She and I settled down you can bet  
That he is going to have to settle for less  
He's someone that I would hate to be  
I got the girl and he's left with just the memory.

_(chorus)_

**See how awesomely that fits? Seriously, I think of Jasper/Bella every time I hear this song. :P**

**Well, let's not keep you in suspense!!! Go on!!!!**_  
_

Bella

My heart was pounding loudly in my chest, and giant butterflies had invaded my stomach. As I stared at Edward, all the memories I had been repressing for a while now came to my mind, full force. I remembered all the happy times, and even the bad times after he left, before Jasper came.

Alice spoke then, breaking me out of my dreams. "Come on, you have to face him." She was pushing both Jasper and me to move forward. We did after a moment, in the same way as before, Jasper holding me up so I wouldn't fall and break my leg.

After the longest walk of my life, we finally reached Edward. He was staring at me, looking like he was being tortured.

"Edward," I croaked.

He continued to look pained, but he turned his gaze down to Jasper's arm around my waist, and mine around his, trying to hold on for dear life. Then Edward's eyes snapped up to Jasper's, and they had some sort of stare off. I was sure Jasper was thinking something that Edward didn't like.

"Maybe we should move this home," Alice suggested. "The humans are watching."

Indeed, most of the student body was staring at us, whispering about Edward. We silently agreed and Jasper and I slipped into his Jaguar, and Alice drove with Edward in his Volvo. It was a long and silent drive to the Cullen's house.

But we finally arrived at the white house, and Edward's Volvo was already parked there. When we entered the front door, Edward was pacing in the living room, all the others either sitting on couch stiffly, or like Alice and Esme, standing together stiffly.

As soon as Edward saw us he stopped pacing suddenly and turned to his family. "Who came back first?" His voice was rough velvet, just as I remembered it. It was beautiful, as always, but his tone was acid.

"I did," answered Jasper after a silent moment. Edward glared at him.

"I told you it was dangerous for us to be here!" Edward all but roared. "I told all of you never to endanger Bella." He meant everyone, but his eyes never left Jasper. I flinched when he said my name and squeezed Jasper's hand.

"If I understand correctly," began Jasper in a haughty tone. "One of your reasons for leaving was because of me. You didn't want you own family to loose control and hurt Bella when she had already been hurt by other vampires before. And as you can see, that isn't much of a problem anymore."

Without gesturing, Jasper drew attention to our closeness. A growl came from Edward's throat, and he crouch down a little. I was really scared now. What if they got into a fight? I don't think I could handle it.

"Stop touching her!" growled Edward.

"Sorry, I can't do that," glared Jasper.

Another growl and before I knew it, Jasper had pushed me into Alice's waiting arms and he was growling, too. Faster than I thought possible, Edward tackled Jasper with the sound of two rocks crashing into each other.

The mess of two white, granite bodies fell into the door, knocking it off its hinges and many feet in front of the house. I was only able to stand there, frozen, for a moment before the sounds of the fight woke me. I ran out of Alice's arms and to the broken door from. Blurs of white hit each other at invisible speeds about fifteen feet in front of me.

Emmett and Carlisle stood behind me, and were just about to break up the fight when I screamed, "STOP! Stop it right now, you idiots! This is utterly stupid!"

I was sure they wouldn't be able to hear me over the cashing rock sounds, but they did.

Edward and Jasper had stopped, standing about fifty feet away from each other. I stomped over to Edward. I knew what I had to do.

I stopped right in front of him, angry tears already breaking through. "Look, Edward," I began, my voice breaking. "You left me!" I stabbed my finger at his chest. "And at the time, I thought it was because you didn't love me; didn't want me." It was amazing how many times my voice broke.

Edward opened his mouth to say other wise, but I stopped him. If he interrupted me now, I might never be able to finish what I wanted to say. Already a sob was building up in my chest. "Then Jasper came, and made me feel whole again for the first time in four months! He told me you had only left to protect me, because you loved me that much, and I'm sure that's true, and you probably still love me, but…" I wiped my tears from my face. "I don't love _you _anymore." Edward's face looked like I had physically slapped him. I flinched at his hurt expression.

The hole in my stomach that I hadn't felt for so long was opening, but I know that this was the only way to make it close forever.

"I'm sorry, Edward. You'll always be my first love," I told him, staring into his eyes, which were a dark tawny color. "You'll always be a part of me - but all the pain you caused when you left…after all that brokenness, I just can't go back to loving you the same.

"I love Jasper." Edward looked as if he could cry, if that were possible, but I was doing enough of that for the both of us. I couldn't take it. I didn't want to hurt him.

I threw my arms around Edward and hugged him close. Unlike all the other times I was in his arms, I didn't feel that same spark; the spark that I now felt whenever Jasper touched me. "I'm so sorry," I said, my voice breaking again. "Please know that I love you, I'm just not _in love _with you." I felt like I was reciting lines from a drama filled romance novel - but I couldn't think of any truer words to say.

I felt Edward nod. "Don't leave again," I continued in a whisper. "Don't leave me or your family again. It killed Esme as much as it killed me." I thought back to my months in a emotionally comatose state, and imagined how Esme had spent that time.

"I promise, Bella," said Edward after a moment. "I won't leave." I stood there for another moment, then separated from Edward. He leaned down and kissed my forehead.

I had to turn away from him. I hated to see his face so broken, and knew I had caused it. This must have been how Edward felt that day in the woods, a few days after my birthday. When he felt like he had to leave me for my own good. How could he have done this without letting his mask fall?

My eyes found Jasper through the tears, and I walked over to him, stumbling. Then I found myself in his arms. My sobs racked my body, and I clutched at Jasper's shirt. I heard his soft whispers as he lead me back to the house, practically carrying me.

-----

_I don't know what hurts worse baby  
Seeing you with him or being alone  
On my own_ - **Still in love with you, Jonas Brothers**

Edward

I kept my eyes on Bella as she fell into Jasper's waiting arms. I flinched as her sob tore through the air, and as I heard Jasper's calming words, and thoughts. I wanted it to be _me_ calming my Bella, but instead, I was the one who caused her tears.

My eyes followed Jasper and Bella as he carried her to the house, and her sobs faded in my hearing, though never left. I couldn't move from my spot. I was frozen there, taking in what had just happened.

My plan to keep Bella safe had failed. In my frenzy to keep her safe, I had pushed her into the arms of someone else. My brother. The very thing that had convinced me that Bella was in so much danger.

The irony.

Bella's words still echoed in my mind. _I love Jasper. _They tore at my heart. Bella may not love me, but I still loved her. I just couldn't change as easily as a human could. Once a vampire made such a drastic change as to love someone, they rarely fell out of that love. In fact, I was very shocked my Alice and Jasper's divorce.

As much as I wanted to hate Jasper, I couldn't. Back in the living room, when I attacked him, I wasn't sure what came over me. Well, I did a little. I let Jasper's thoughts egg me on. He was thinking of what he found when he first came back to Forks. The broken Bella he found. Then he thought of her, falling in love with him. Him, watching her sleep, saying she loved him in her dreams. Like she used to do for me.

But again, I couldn't hate him. These memories of his made me angry, but at myself. I had let this happened. If I had never left, I'd still be with Bella, and she would probably still be safe, despite my worries.

I guess I would just have to get over her, I thought, though my heart cringed at the thought. I would. I couldn't stay here forever, watching Bella and Jasper, and still longing for her. Because I had no doubt that I would keep my promise to Bella. I would not cause her or Esme the pain I had caused them again. And I knew, deep down, that Bella would always be part of our family, just not mine anymore.

"Edward." I looked up. Alice was standing in front of me, smiling sadly. "Edward, it's time to go inside. Bella has calmed down, and we need to catch you up to speed on what's happening in Forks since you've been gone."

Her words intrigued me. What else had happened besides my whole world turning upside down? I tried to read her thoughts, but she was singing the Greek alphabet. I sighed, not bothering to try harder, and followed her inside.

Obviously, she wasn't taking her and Jasper's break up too badly. It was as if she had completely moved on, and she probably had. I envied her.

We entered the living room. Emmett and Rosalie were sitting on the couch, Esme next to them, and Carlisle sitting on the arm rest of the couch. Jasper and Bella were sitting closely together on the love seat, Jasper's arm casually, yet protectively around Bella.

Alice skipped to the recliner and sat down gracefully. I hung awkwardly in the broken door frame. Jasper and Bella were both looking at me. Bella had a sad expression on her face, but I could tell from her posture that she was…relaxed in a way. It was not the first moment that I wished I could read her thoughts.

Jasper's, however, I could read.

_I'm sorry, Edward. I didn't mean to tease you like I did with my memories, _ he thought sincerely. _Bella is sorry too, oh how much you'll never know. She feels great pain for causing you pain, but you have no idea what weight has just been lifted from her shoulders, Edward. She was afraid that she wouldn't be able to confront you. _

My mind reeled at the idea. Bella had been afraid?

_She wanted to face you, and tell you the truth. She hated knowing that we were in a relationship, and you didn't know. _Jasper continued. _But she was afraid of what you would do when you found out. _

I understood now. And I'm sure my attack on Jasper didn't help matters. I nodded in Jasper's direction, and went to another open chair. I took a deep breath. "Alice said that something is going on. What is it?"

Jasper exchanged a look with Carlisle, then Bella. She nodded, urging him to go start talking. Jasper turned to me.

Many memories went through his thoughts. They were of Laurent, coming out of the forest, saying his plans with Victoria. I hissed. "Victoria?"

Jasper nodded. "The wolves spotted her when Bella and I were in Florida visiting her mother. They underestimated her, though, and she got away -"

"Wolves?" I asked sharply. More memories displayed themselves in Jasper's mind.

"Yes. The kids at La Push had created a pack, with all the vampires around." He looked down at Bella, who was playing with the hem of his shirt. "Ironically, though, they're on our side. They helped kill Laurent."

"Why? Why are they on our side? And why was Laurent here?" I questioned. More memories.

"One of the wolves is Jacob. I think you remember him - he is friends with Bella." I remembered. He was the gawky looking teenager that arrived at prom last year. His father was Billy, who paid his son to warn Bella to break up with me. "Well, we became friends as well, about a week before he changed into a werewolf. That's what started a newer, better treaty between us. That friendship."

Of course I was surpised at the friendship between a vampire and a werewolf, but so many surprising things had happened lately. I nodded. "And Laurent?"

Jasper sighed. "Victoria asked him to spy on Bella; bring back information," said Jasper. "She wants revenge."

"Because we killed James?" I asked. I tried to think back to last year. Had Victoria really loved James that much? It didn't seem so, but I was mostly thinking of Bella, and Victoria was only really thinking about how James would succeed. She didn't have any doubt that he would kill Bella.

Jasper nodded. He remembered his memories from that day. Smelling Laurent in the woods, and him revealing himself.

"I still don't understand," I started. "What are Victoria's plans?"

"To kill me," said Bella's small voice. "She wants to cause you the pain you caused her by killing James. A mate for a mate. And since the wolves killed Laurent before he could tell her that things had changed. That I was with Jasper now, she still thinks that killing me will kill you. And it will, but it will also do so much more. It will kill Jasper, too."

I stared at Bella's wide brown eyes. Genuine fear was in those chocolate depths. "She won't get the chance, Bella."

"What?" she asked, dumfounded.

I took a deep breath. "Bella…even if I'm never able to love you again, with you returning those feelings, that doesn't mean I want you to die. I want you to have a life. To love someone, even if it's not me. That's what I had in mind for you when I left. That you would move on and love someone else. I got my wish, though it isn't exactly how I planned." I looked at those eyes, then to Jasper and the rest of my family. "Victoria isn't going to ruin that for you. I won't let her."

**XXXXxXXXXxXXXX**

**:D So what'd think? Was the Edward POV surprising? If it was, that's because it was for me, too. I never thought of telling anything from anyone other than Jasper or Bella's POV, but **Addicted2Emmett **suggested that I should. :D She said I have a talent for writing emotions. So nice! Hey! Jasper and I would make a great couple. I can write emotions, and he can feel/manipulate them! ^.^ Yes, I stretching it. **

**Haha. So little bit of news: My finals went very well - muy bien! I think I did well on my spanish and photography...college algebra on the other hand...we don't speak of that. :(**

**AND OMG! I just finished the Host - I had to read it in less than two days so I could turn in back into the library for break - and it was AUH-MAZING! Stephenie Meyer is a genius!!! I have proved that I don't just love her books because they include Edward, but because she is just a great writer!!! :D If you've read the Host, tell me how you liked it!**

**Okay, that's all! I'll post the next chapter sometime soon - maybe before 2009! Haha. Please review! It makes me update faster. :P**


	11. My Heart Beats For Only You

**:D Okay, I know, it's been FOREVER since I've updated. XD Sorry sorry sorry! School has taken a turn for 'crazy' after I started my AP English class -dies just thinking about it- So....much...homework....And to add to that, I HAVE to get all A's this semester! (Because I got a C in my math class LAST semester, my mom is on a war path.) :D Of course, I managed to pull all A's so far! (90, 91, and 92 percent) but since this is only from the first six weeks, I still might die! :( And my Yearbook teacher has gone INSANE! Seriously. She takes out all her problems on us, and our grades. She thinks I'm giving her 'attitude'. Pfft. And yeah, I kinda am, but only after she gave attitude to me!**

**....I realize that a lot of you don't care about this. XD **

**Okay okay, basically, I'm uber-busy lately, but I'll really try finishing this story. I know exactly how to end this and all, I just have to sit down and write it. And I've been focusing on my actual orginal work lately. :D I'm almost done! And I have 60,000 freaking words!!!! -dances- **

**Okay okay, moving on. Just go on and read!**

_**I am finding out that maybe I was wrong  
That I've fallen down and I can't do this alone**_

Stay with me, this is what I need, please?

Sing us a song and we'll sing it back to you  
We could sing our own but what would it be without you?

I am nothing now and it's been so long  
Since I've heard the sound, the sound of my only hope

This time I will be listening.  


_**This heart, it beats, beats for only you  
My heart is yours  
(My heart, it beats for you)  
**_

_**(Please don't go now, please don't fade away) My heart is yours  
(Please don't go, please don't fade away)  
(Please don't go now, please don't fade away) My heart is...  
**_

**- Paramore, My Heart**

Jasper

After explaining everything to Edward, I could tell that Bella had had enough drama for one day. She had done so much in one day, and was mentally exhausted.

"I'm going to take Bella home," I announced, standing up slowly, bringing Bella up with me. "Charlie is going to be home soon, and you look like you'll collapse at any moment."

Bella sighed, too tired to fight me on the subject. "I guess you're right….and I still have to cook dinner…"

"No way," I said firmly. "You're going straight to bed."

"But Charlie -" Bella began to protest.

"Charlie has leftovers from dinner last night." Bella couldn't argue with that, and remained silent. I turned back to my family. "I'm going to call Jacob after I get Bella home. I'll tell them that we have Edward, and his mind reading will be a big advantage." I was thinking of it in a warfare type of way - Edward would be a valuable asset.

Alice sighed audibility. I know she was frustrated with her blindness, but it was unavoidable.

I carried Bella to the garage, as her eyes were barley able to stay open, and slid her into my Jaguar and buckled her up. As we drove away from my house, I was finally able to escape Edward's pain.

Though I could feel he understood that Bella didn't love him, and that he shouldn't either, he still did. It would take a while before he was able to look at the two of us without that stab of pain, and flare of jealousy.

Bella drifted in and out of sleep on the way to her house. When I finally arrived to her house, Charlie's cruiser was already there. I carried her into her house, skillfully opening and shutting the door. Charlie had found the leftovers, and was eating in front of the T.V.

"Bella?" he asked, worry in his voice. He stood and walked to where I was, about to walk up the stairs. "Bella! What happened?"

I talked in a soft voice. "Bella is just tired…let me put her to bed, and I'll explain." Charlie waited for me at the bottom on the stairs.

I gently lowered Bella into her bed, and took off her shoes and jacket. Then I covered her up with her comforter. "Jasper…" she mumbled. I wasn't sure if she was sleep talking, or actually awake.

"Bella," I said, kissing her on the cheek.

"I love you, Jasper," she said, eyes closed.

"I love you, Bella." I smoothed back her hair from her face, and kissed her again. Her heart sped up for a moment, the slowed down again. I liked to think her heart beating for only me, and that it had never done so for another. Even as I thought this thought, I pushed it away. I knew that Bella loved me; only me. I turned around, and saw Charlie had actually followed me up, and was standing in the door frame.

I walked over to him, and shut Bella's door halfway. Once we were in the kitchen, Charlie asked me what was going on.

Sighing, I told him of today's events, or at least some of them. "Edward returned today…" Charlie stiffened. "He and I…we sort of got into a fight, and Bella told us to stop, and that we were idiots…" I laughed a little. Only Bella could have gotten us to stop fighting. "Well, she confronted him, and told him everything that she has been feeling in the past few months. It was very hard for her, of course, but she got through it. I think that they will be able to be friends…just as soon as Edward falls out of love with her. Which will be hard. I know I could never….

"Anyway. I think that she is mentally and emotionally exhausted. She'll be fine after some sleep." I felt Charlie's hand on my shoulder, a fatherly gesture, not one of a police chief who meant business.

"Thanks, Jasper," said Charlie gruffly. "For taking care of Bella. I had never felt so helpless. That first week after he left….she wouldn't eat or drink, or move. But then, when she finally snapped out of it when Renee came to take her to Florida, I almost thought what she was doing then was worst. On the outside, she was fine. But it was the little things….she didn't listen to music, or read, or watch T.V. She wouldn't talk and was alone a lot…

"I was just about at the end of my rope when you showed up." I looked at Charlie with new eyes now. Of course I had always had a peek at his emotions, but to hear him say them out loud, was much more personal. "I'm thankful for you, Jasper. You really helped Bella. And I know that you're different than Edward. I don't know why….you just _are. _You have this way with her…where you seem to know exactly how she's feeling, and how to help her. She has light in her eyes know, and color in her cheeks for the first time….she's happy."

Charlie squeezed my shoulder. "I'm not usually one to be poetic, or religious, but I think….I think that, especially in her eyes, that you are the closest to heaven that she'll ever be." I stared, dumbstruck, at Charlie. Of course he was right, that was exactly how Bella felt when she was with me. But Charlie…I never pegged him as particularly observant, but yet, here he was, voicing some of Bella's, and my, most deepest feelings.

"I feel the same, Charlie. She's more than I…" I thought back to all the face of people I killed. Their feelings just before they died - the moment I ended their lives - their fear, their confusion. "She's more than I deserve," I said finally.

Charlie shook his head. "I don't believe that." He squeezed my shoulder one last time, and we shared one last look.

"Thanks, Charlie. I better be going…" I was anxious to get back up to Bella's room.

He nodded. "Say hello to your family for me."

"I will." With that, I walked out the door. I sped to the side of the house, just below Bella's window, when I remembered I had to call Jacob. I pulled out my cell phone and dialed his number.

Jacob answered on the second ring. "Hello?"

"Jacob," I greeted. "We have some news. Edward just arrived…" I couldn't feel people's emotions through the phone, but I could tell that Jacob became stiff with my words. "Don't worry, Bella talked to him…things are turning out ok. But with his mind reading, catching Victoria should go even more smoothly. I just thought you should tell the pack. And that we should all meet soon, to come up with a plan."

I was still thinking of where to meet with the pack that was neutral territory. "Maybe the baseball field - I mean where we were when Laurent was killed. Tomorrow night, around midnight?"

"That sounds fine. I'll pass it on to Sam and the others," agreed Jacob. "And Embry is on his way to stand guard outside Bella's house."

"That's good," I told him. "I'm going to go. I want to make sure Bella is ok. I'm sure she might have some vivid dreams tonight…"

"Okay. Bye Jasper."

"By Jacob."

When I climbed through Bella's window, she looked calm enough. She wasn't speaking in her sleep, which was a good sign. Nightmares caused the most chatter.

Sometime in the early morning, though, she did begin to speak. But it wasn't so much of a nightmare, and more of a dream that had just become a reality.

------

Bella

My dream was so similar to the actual day's events, me, finally confronting Edward, that when I woke up that morning, I wasn't sure if it had actually happened. I had to ask Jasper.

"Did I really…?" I asked the moment I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes. He help me close to him, though there was a blanket between us so I wouldn't freeze at night.

"Yes, Bella. You did." He smiled, showing all of his brilliant teeth.

I breathed a sigh of relief, falling against Jasper.

Of course school was…interesting. Jasper drove me in his Jaguar, and we parked next to Edward's Volvo. He and Alice were waiting for us.

Before I opened the door, I leaned in and gave Jasper and passionate kiss. Call it my own form of 'liquid courage'. I knew that today would be bad in the gossip factor. Then I got out of the car and walked with Alice and Edward to class.

It turned out that Edward had transferred out of most of the classes we had together, because at the beginning of the year, we had had all of them together. There were a few that he couldn't get out of, like our first and the one just after lunch.

"It's probably for the best," he said to me as we sat down in English. It was strange, talking to Edward. It was almost like he had never left. He looked the same as he had before, gorgeous, but I just didn't feel the same. Whenever we talked, even about the most humdrum things, my heart would skyrocket. But now…nothing. Of course my heart was beating fast, but that was because everyone was staring at the two of us.

"The best?" I asked, confused.

"Bella…" he stared at me, and lowered his voice so only I could hear, though I could see that Jessica was trying to hear. "I still…love you." His face was pained. "But I know I shouldn't. It will be better for me, for us, when I don't feel so strongly for you. But I won't be able to do that by completely distancing myself from you. That would never work. It's best that we remain as close as possible….but in a friendship, or a sibling like way. I would never want to lose any sort of relationship with you." He smiled sadly. "After all…I believe you'll be my sister one day anyway."

I blinked in shock at what Edward said, but didn't have a chance to elaborate, because Mr. Dunham began to speak. I did think about it, though.

It seemed like Edward was really trying to not love me. I couldn't think of why though. I thought that he would be able to fall out of love with me easily. I didn't see why he loved me so much, even in the time we were together. It didn't make sense that Edward loved - still loved - me, or that Jasper loved me now.

I knew why I loved them. They were perfect, really. Even when Edward left, he was perfect. I believed that he was even before I knew he was leaving to protect me. And Jasper…Jasper was a true southern gentleman perfect. How could someone deserve just one love like either Edward or Jasper, let alone two?

And Edward was right, like usual. I didn't want to completely end our relationship. I wanted to be friends….I never wanted to see him leave. A world without Edward was a sad place. A world without Jasper was a sad place. Even thinking about it made my eyes tear up. Basically, a world without the Cullens or Hales was a ghastly thing to even imagine, let alone live through. Which I had. (Not very well, though.)

But what Edward said….that one day I would be his sister. It was a strange thought. Most 'brothers' and 'sisters' didn't love like Edward and I had. But he was right, even if it scared me.

Of course he was insinuating that Jasper and I…that we would get married. I gagged at the word: marriage. Ug. Renee had raised me to view it like that, of course. Or at least until I was twenty-five, minimum. And though I loved Jasper…I still didn't like the thought of marriage.

But he was also insinuating that I would be changed. Into a vampire. That would make me a part of the Cullen family in a even bigger sense than me marrying into it. Then we would be brother and sister…especially if Carlisle changed us. Carlisle changed Edward, and they shared a paternal like bond, just like the others that were changed by Carlisle.

The bell rang then. I had spent all of the class thinking about this. I said good bye to Edward, still ignoring the stares, and started off to my next class. Suddenly Jessica appeared next to me.

"Bella!" she exclaimed, a smile on her face. "How are you?"

"Fine," I answered, wary.

"That's great," she said grinning. "So, Edward's finally back. I'm sure that must be awkward. By the way, how did he take that you and Jasper were dating? I know that Alice is taking the news fine and all, but we haven't even seen Edward since he left."

Obviously, Jessica didn't really have a firm grim on the concept of 'tact'.

Jessica finally paused for a breath, and I took my chance to answer her. "He just returned from a boarding school. He wanted to return to live with his family. And we just got a chance to really talk about Jasper and I…and it's not really awkward. I mean, it is, but not completely." I tried to come up with the words that would make sense to an outsider like Jessica. "He's a good guy, Jessica. He just wants what's best for me, even if it isn't with him."

"Oh," Jessica blinked. We had just arrived in our class, which we shared. "Wow. I would have never…wow." I know she wanting me to tell her the worst, better gossip that way.

"Yeah," I smiled and walked to the corner of the classroom to sit with Alice.

At lunch Jasper came, as always. Ben and Angela were surprised to see Edward, just like most of the school, but after I explained everything to Angela in the class just before lunch, she greeted him warmly enough. He and Ben even chatted about cars, and Jasper, too.

The rest of the day went by in a similar way. I explained the story a few times to my closer friends, like Mike. But he didn't really understand like Angela did. Jasper picked me up and took me home. He also told me about meeting with the wolves tonight.

"Tonight?" I asked.

"Yes," he said, opening my car door and helping me out. "We're meeting at midnight in the baseball field."

"I want to go," I said immediately.

"No, Bella," said Jasper firmly. "You are staying home. Esme is going to stay with you in your room, and one of the younger wolves are going to be just outside your window."

"But -" I tried to argue.

"No buts." Jasper sighed and took my hand in his. He kissed my fingers, one by one. "Please, Bella," he begged. "I do not want you in the very same clearing that Laurent found you in. I don't want you in any of the woods, until Victoria is destroyed."

I guess I could see where he was coming from. But I wanted to go…. Then I saw the look in Jasper's eyes. Jasper's emotions always played across his face. I hadn't really noticed it before I really got to know him. He had always just been in the background, but once I began to love him, and know him like I did now, I noticed everything. The lines around his eyes when he was upset; the water-like look they had now, when he was scared - as if he was about to cry, if he could.

"Okay," I sighed.

Jasper smiled, the lines around his lips becoming more defined, and kissed me. "Thank you."

----

Around 11:30 that night, I was still wide awake. Jasper kissed me goodbye as soon as Esme arrived in my room. I watched as he climbed gracefully out my window and paused for a moment to say something to the gigantic form of a wolf. Then he ran off into the forest.

"I'm sorry you can't go either, Esme," I said, not turning away from the window.

"It's okay, dear. It's only going to be a brief meeting, telling everyone what to do. I can get recapped later," said Esme. I didn't know what it was about Esme, but she made me feel like I was loved. Her voice just oozed 'motherly.'

I looked down at the wolf under my window. "Hey!" I whispered. Jake did say that wolves had super hearing. And it appeared so. I barley even said it louder than a whisper, but even in the dark I saw the wolf's ears perked up, and his head look up at me. "Sorry you had to miss the meeting."

I heard a soft whimper. Apparently, unlike Esme, he wanted to attend. "Sorry," I repeated. I paused. "Who are you anyway? Embry? Quil?" The wolf snorted. I couldn't even see him, but I knew he must be laughing, or whatever wolves did.

I sighed. "Can you transform for a second then, and climb up the tree? I want to know who I'm talking to, please."

A wolf like sigh came from under me. "He can't, sweetie," said Esme. I turned around. Esme was sitting in my old rocking chair. "His orders from the alpha are to remain in wolf form, and they cannot disobey the alpha." I heard the confirmation from the wolf.

Oh yeah, I remember Jacob mentioning that once. I sighed. "Okay, so you can't tell me who you are. Promise that you'll tell me if you see me when you're human, then?" There was a pause, then a small yelp that I took as a 'yes'. "Good night then, wolfie." There was a snicker.

I crawled into bed and talked to Esme for a while till I finally drifted off into a uneasy slumber.

I wasn't how long after I drifted off to sleep that two cold arms encircled me, but when then did, I suddenly felt safer, and fell into a deep sleep.

XXXXX

**:D Oh yeah, I just found a way to fit in the title! I'm that awesome. ^-^ Seriously, it just came into my head and I was like, "NO WAY!" -type type type-**

**Haha. So, who can guess who the wolf is? :D Just a hint: He's my favorite next to Jacob. :D **

**Okay, so, what did you think? Was it horrible? Amazing? Please, tell me! And I'll try my best to type up the next chapter. I already started....just have to buckle down! **

**Thanks in advance for all the reviews!!! I'm almost to 200!!!! -faints-**


	12. Change Me

**Hey hey! Back again. Sorry about the super long wait. School is….Ug. I can't tell you how much I'm looking forward to the summer. But yeah….after I'm finished with AP English homework (which is every night, and many many hours of it) I don't feel like doing anything involving thinking. Consequently, this story and my own original stuff, is suffering. ****L**

**I'll try to write some more…but for now, here is the next chapter!**

**Song: Change Me, by Sanctus Real. (Very cool. Reminds me of Eclipse when Bella is trying to convince Edward to change her…in the bed. Lol)**

_Did I change your mind with  
What I said last night?  
Did I break your heart by  
Straying so far?  
From what you have in mind  
For my life?_

Would you change me from  
Who I've been lately?  
'Cause I know I'm nothing  
Without you

Did my words betray the  
Patience I once claimed  
Can't you see it in my face?  
I need your grace  


_(Chorus)_

Jasper

The large clearing we used for our sporting activities was filled with vampires and werewolves, an invisible line separating the two. Everyone but Esme was on our side, and there were four wolves on the other.

Carlisle finally stepped forward. "I think it would be best if one of you would transform, as it would be easier to communicate, instead of just using Edward's gift." There was a pause, and the biggest wolf, Sam I was sure, turned to Jacob and nodded. Jake ran to the forest and a moment later ran back into the clearing as a human.

"Hey, Jasper," he said smiling.

"Jake," I greeted.

Jacob's eyes landed on Edward, and hostility radiated from him. After a moment he turned to Carlisle. "So what's the plan?"

"Well," began Carlisle. "It's really Jasper's idea." He turned to me, and I stepped up, as he stepped back.

"I think that it's time to take the offense, instead of the defensive." I paused, and I heard Edward snicker. I turned to him and gave him a look.

"One of the wolves -" He paused and looked at Sam. "Okay, _Sam_, said, and I quote 'since when were you in charge of planning attacks, or when we fight offensive or defensive?'"

I looked at Sam directly. "Well, since about 1863. I was the youngest major on either side of the Civil war, and they seemed to trust my judgment then." Jacob laughed, but I held Sam's gaze.

"He says, 'never mind'," said Edward.

"Good. I'll continue then," I said, feeling anger and just a little bit of embarrassment from Sam. "I think we have to come up with some sort of plan…a plan to bring Victoria out of hiding, so we can strike." I let this sink in for the wolves. "Well, any thoughts?"

It was a few moments later that Edward growled, glaring at Sam. Sam growled back, both of them dipping into a defensive stance.

"What? What did he say?" asked Jacob, and I wondered as well.

"He wants to have Bella be the bait you are speaking of. It would bring Victoria out of hiding," hissed Edward.

My face hardened, and I looked at Sam. "Explain yourself further," I barked (no pun intended) at him.

It was a long moment before Edward began to translate for Sam, his voice sharp as glass. "He says, 'it is the only thing that the red head will actually risk for. It is what she is after. And don't get so touchy, we are sworn to protect humans, and the Swan girl is under our protection. We will make sure that no harm comes to her.'"

I let this sink in. I was conflicted. On one hand, it was the logical thing to do, my major side said. It was what would work, and for the greater good. But then my other half - my love for Bella - said NO! Don't put her in danger. Don't let her anywhere near Victoria.

"It would work," said Carlisle. "We could stage it somewhere in the woods. Have the wolves and some of us waiting nearby, but just far enough so Victoria couldn't smell us."

"But that would mean that Bella would be alone when Victoria found her," I said through clenched teeth. My 'Bella' side was winning out so far, no matter how much logic I could come up with.

"We could have one of us with her," suggested Alice. "To hold off Victoria until the rest of us arrived."

"But it would be fishy, one of us and Bella wandering out in the forest," said Emmett pointedly. I could sense his excitement of preparing for a fight, though.

We paused, thinking about that. It would be. I couldn't be with her, and neither could any of my family…only….

Edward was looking at me, reading my thoughts. "But it wouldn't look at all out of place to Victoria if I was with Bella. In fact, she would probably relish getting the two of us alone, and killing Bella in front of my own eyes. It would be like twisting the dagger deeper." I nodded.

"But…there is still the fact that you two are wandering through the forest randomly," said Jacob after a minute. "She would find that strange."

"Bella and I…" Edward began, and I felt his pain at remembering the good times with Bella. "I took Bella to a meadow last year. It's far away from much civilization, and would be very good for a sneak attack. I could take Bella there, and we can wait."

Everyone looked at me at this point. They were trying to figure out were I stood on this. "I think…I think that is the best plan of attack. Edward is a strong fighter and will be able to hold Victoria off for a while till we come. It makes sense…"

"And when we finally get to the fight," started Jacob. "A few of us can get Bella out of there, so she won't be in anymore danger." I looked at Jacob gratefully.

For the next hour or so we discussed our plan in greater detail, every last bit of it so it would unfold smoothly. After a while, Carlisle suggested that we call it a night, and meet two nights from now to finalize the plan. I was grateful for his suggestion; I was beginning to get anxious, being away from Bella so long, although I knew that Esme and Seth - the werewolf guarding her house - would be sufficient enough for any threat that came her way.

After saying good-bye to Jacob, he ran to the forest with his pack, and my family began to run back home; it went without saying that I was going to Bella's home.

Within a few minutes I was entering her back yard. I slowed down so Seth could see that it was just me; he nodded at me, and I at him. "Someone should be coming soon to take over for you, and fill you in about tonight," I said, and he nodded once more.

Next I climbed up the tree and through Bella's window. Esme was sitting in the rocking chair in the corner, and for a moment I imagined her rocking a small baby to sleep, just as Bella's mother had done for Bella in the same chair; just as Esme might have done if her own child hadn't of died.

"Hello, Jasper," Esme said in a soft whisper. "Is it over already?" she asked.

"Yes," I said. "You can go home; I'll take over from here."

She smiled and rose from the chair. Before she left she kissed me on the cheek, then Bella as well. When it was only Bella and I, I noticed that Bella was becoming a little restless, so I laid down next to her and encased her in my arms. It felt amazing to be here, holding my warm Bella; I tried not to think of the danger she would be in days from now, when we waiting for Victoria to take our bait: Bella.

-------

It was early in the morning when Bella awoke. "Jasper," she said sleepily, yawning in the process.

"Morning, Bella," I greeted.

Bella blinked a few more times before she was completely awake; then she remembered the night before. "How was the meeting?" she asked eagerly.

I sighed. I knew this question had been coming, of course. "It was…fine."

"Did you come up with a plan?"

I flinched at her question. "Yes," I said. "I don't like it very much…but we have a plan. It's the best one we could have."

"Tell me," she said, her chocolate eyes burning.

"We are going to…lure Victoria into a trap," I said carefully. "With…you."

Bella looked at me with a blank gaze for a moment. "Me?" she asked.

"Yes. Not just you, of course," I said. "You and…Edward…will go to the clearing he mentioned and hopefully Victoria will come, because hurting you in front of Edward will be too tempting for her." I took a shaky breath. "I wish I could take Edward's place, but it would be suspicious. She believes that you and Edward are still together."

"Oh." Was all Bella said.

"A few members of my family and the wolves will be waiting at a safe distance so Victoria won't smell us, and when she comes, you will call us - Edward will hold off Victoria until…until we can come help. Some of us will lead you away so nothing can…happen."

Bella nodded, a far away look in her eyes.

"I'm sorry Bella," I said. "For putting you into this danger."

She shook her head. "No…no, I understand that this is the only way. We need to get her….and if this is the only way…I'll do it."

Even as she said these brave words, I felt the fear coming off her.

"But you're still scared," I said.

Bella hesitated for a moment - then realized there was no use in denying this claim to her Emotion-Sensing boyfriend. "Yes."

I hugged Bella close to me, breathing in the sweet scent of her. "It will be okay. I'll protect you. My whole family and Jacob and the other wolves, will protect you."

"I know," Bella said in a small voice. It was quiet for a few minutes, and I just listened to Bella's constant breathing, then - "Jasper?"

"Yes, Bella?"

"I was…wondering…" I could feel a little fear, with some embarrassment mixed in coming from her. "After Victoria is…gone…and I'm done with school - it's only about a month or so away…what's going to happen to…us?"

"What do you mean, Bella?" I asked, oblivious. "We'll be like we are now. Together."

"I know," she repeated. "I know that we'll be together, but…" Bella was silent again for a minute. "I want to know if I'll still be human."

This surprised me. I was honestly shocked. I hadn't really thought about it before…I knew I wanted to be with Bella forever…but Bella's forever and my forever, at the moment, were two very different things.

"I don't…know. I've never thought about it." Bella frowned. "What I mean is…I've never exactly thought of you as a vampire…but I've thought about being with you forever…"

"So that means you want me to be a vampire?" said Bella hopefully.

"Well…yes, I guess," I answered. "Why?"

She frowned. "Edward was…set against me becoming like him. He thought it would take away my soul."

I chuckled and shook my head. "Oh yes. Edward does believe that…" I sighed. "I don't. I wouldn't exactly choose this life for anyone - but I'm too selfish. I want to be with you forever. If I could become human, and we couldn't only live out a mere 60 or 70 years together, I would take _that _forever…but I can't do that." I frowned. "But I believe we have souls. We're just like humans…we have free will. We can choose to be evil or good. When I was in the south and killing people to live…I knew I wanted something different. I didn't want to be evil. I think it's because of this that we have souls; have the choice to be good."

Bella smiled at me. "That's what I tried to tell him." She laughed. "So…will you change me?"

I gave a dry chuckle. "Bella - I could never change you." I saw her face quickly drop, so I quickly added: "What I mean is - I don't have enough control to do that. If you were changed, I would have to be by Carlisle."

"Oh," she said. "When?" Bella asked.

"Slow down, tiger," I laughed. "Not till after you graduate," I said. "School is important. But Bella…there is a lot of things you have to think about with this decision." She looked at me, confused. "For one…you won't have much…control your first year or so - when you are a newborn."

"Newborn?" she asked.

"Yes. A newborn vampire. You'll be very bloodthirsty. That's all you really think about your first year…but since you'll be on the vegetarian diet, you'll become sane a little quicker, although it is not as satisfying as human blood…"

"Really?" Bella asked in horror. "I won't be thinking of anything else? Just blood? What about us? My family?"

I shook my head. "It's just all about the blood for a while. Of course, Emmett and Rose and the others say that after a month or so of the animal blood, the craze dies down. You can focus on other things." I touched Bella cheek, then her lips. "But I don't think I could ever see you as bloodthirsty…" I said, almost as an after thought.

"So…I'll be bloodthirsty?" Bella said. "Okay. I can handle that…"

"There's more…" I said and Bella gave me a look. "You'll have to do something about Charlie. And your mother. And everyone else. After you've been turned…you can't be around them as a newborn. You'd…attack them. And after you're pass your newborn phase, it will be a year later, more maybe - they will notice the differences that occurred during your transformation, and that you haven't aged."

"What will I have to do?" Bella asked.

I felt horrible. The look in her eyes, and her emotions, were so sad. "Fake your death, maybe - or you could just say you're going off to college and delay visiting your parents, then a few years from now fake your death. That way…that way you could at least talk to your parents for a few more years."

Bella was silent for a long time. "I'm sorry," I found myself whispering. She nodded sadly.

"Me, too."

--------

It was a long time later, after about half an hour of a comfortable silence - in a way Bella was mourning for what she knew was going to happen - she spoke again.

"Jasper?" This time, her emotions were completely embarrassed.

"Yes?"

I saw the bright blush on her cheeks. "When I'm a newborn…and I'm not myself…I don't know if I'll feel exactly the same for you as I do now."

"Of course you will," I said.

"You don't know that," she said. "If I'm so over come with bloodlust, I'm not myself. And I know I want you now…but when I'm a newborn….I might not be as interested in the things I am now….not for a while, anyway."

The embarrassment coming off Bella right now was ridiculous, and I only realized what she was talking about because it was the same type of embarrassment that she had felt that night at dinner, when we talked about Alice and I, and her and I, and sex.

"You're worried you won't want me sexually when you're a newborn," I laughed.

He face was bright read. "Don't laugh," she mumbled.

"Can't help it," I said, still laughing. "But it's insane. It doesn't even matter. I'll wait for you as long as it takes for you to 'be yourself' again; to get pass your newborn stage."

Bella was silent again. "But Jasper," she said after a moment. "I don't know if it will…feel the same. I want to be able to experience something I never have as a human." Embarrassment again.

I frowned, my laughter gone. "Bella…I can't do that. I can't make love with you when you're human. I've only ever been with Alice, Bella, and she is completely unbreakable. Compared to her, you're at china doll, a balloon. I don't think I could…control myself. I would feel better when you aren't so…breakable."

Bella frowned. "But I won't be the same. I won't be me. I'll be blood thirsty."

"Bella," I sighed. "Don't be so extreme. I have a feeling it will be different with you. You'll be changed _knowing _what to expect. You're mind has already been preparing for this. Remember - mind over matter." I grinned at her. "And I hardly think you'll be so out of control. As a human you are such a put together and controlled individual. I think that will transfer over for you." I smiled at Bella, and touched her cheek. "I'm very sure it will feel exactly the same for us, eve after your change.

It was a moment before Bella huffed at me and pouted a little. "Fine. But I'm not happy."

**XxXxXxX**

**And there we are! :D What did you think? Likey? Please tell me! Review, please. Your reviews are amazing.**

**And oh! On my profile picture, I have this cool icon I found that has the title to this story. :D Very cool. **


	13. I'll Never Let Go

**Yay! Summer!**

**Yay! Another chapter!**

**Hmmm, those two things seem to go hand and hand… :D **

**Hopefully with all this free time on my hands I can finish this story (I'm pretty sure there is only one - maybe two - more chapters to go) and maybe a few choice other stories I have posted. Most of all, I want to finish my original stuff. **

**I really hope you like this chapter! Here's the traditional song-that-sorta-ties-into-the-chapter-and-I-make-it-the-title! As it is a worship song, the name Lord is in parenthesis. :D It does tie in at the end, though! :D**

"_Oh no, You never let go  
Through the calm and through the storm  
Oh no, You never let go  
In every high and every low  
Oh no, You never let go  
(Lord), You never let go of me"_

-Matt Redman, You Never Let Go

-----------------------------------------------------------

Bella

I loved the way that Jasper sat and watched me make dinner for my father. He patiently sat at his regular chair at the round wooden dinner table, and watched. Sometimes he would talk, and other times he would just silently…observe. I always wondered what was going through his head at times like this. Was he thinking of me? Or something completely different? Did he think I looked horrible in the over sized purple t-shirt and black shorts I wore?

Though I wanted to know what he thought about when he stared at me as I chopped onions, I would never work up the nerve to ask him. I was still surprised at myself for bringing up the conversation we had three days ago, after the meeting with the La Push pack.

I blushed at the thought. Whenever I thought of that conversation about our future, I couldn't help but picture us…together.

Pushing these thoughts out of my head, I concentrated on making dinner. I did not need the emotion-sensing vampire in the room wondering why I was suddenly feeling embarrassed and…lust filled.

The phone rang, which surprised me, and Jasper chuckled a little. I sent him a look, then said, "Can you get that? My hands are full at the moment."

"Sure thing, Bella," he said, standing. I still got chills every time he said my name in his deep and sensual voice. It always sounded like a prayer when he said my name.

Jasper came to stand next to me, and while he reached for the cordless he kissed my cheek. I blushed at his touch. He was smiling when he answered the phone. "Swan residence."

Within a few moments, the smile on Jasper's face had disappeared. "Ok. You and the others we decided go to our house; make sure to keep some of the younger wolves on the reservation. Bella and I will be at the house soon." He paused. "Thank you. See you soon." He hung up.

I had stopped with the chopping. I clutched the handle of the knife tightly. "Jasper? What's going on?"

The looked Jasper gave me was one of complete fear. "It was Jacob. He and a few other wolves were on patrol. They smelled Victoria." My heart skipped a beat. Or two. "They didn't go after her, they went straight home and called us. They knew the plan."

"You mean…"

"Yes. We're going to try it now," said Jasper gravely. "I'll clean up the kitchen; you write a letter to Charlie. Tell him not to worry; tell him that you're going to Seattle with Alice to go shopping, and that you'll be home tomorrow."

I nodded mechanically. I walked over to the table, grabbed the pad of paper and pen and began to write:

_Dad,_

_Alice surprised me with a trip to Seattle for shopping. She wants me to get a really good prom dress. Since it's a little late, we'll be spending the night there. Esme - Alice's mother - is coming with us, and we already have reservations at a hotel. I'll be home tomorrow. _

_And don't worry - I probably won't enjoy a second of it. You know how I am with shopping._

_Love, Bella_

My hand shook as I wrote. I hope Charlie didn't notice it in my scribble.

When I turned around, the kitchen was clean. Jasper was standing with his keys in his hand. "Let's go," he said, placing a hand on my back.

The ride to his house was silent, and very quick. I had never seen Jasper drive so fast. He usually respected my dislike to speeding. Considering the events, I decided not to mention it.

When we walked into the living room, everyone in the Cullen and Hale family was there, plus three very uncomfortable werewolves: Sam, Embry and Quil. Jacob even looked a little flustered being around so many vampires.

"Where was she heading?" asked Jasper the moment we were inside.

"North," said Jacob.

Jasper nodded, as did Edward. "That's good for us," said Edward in a quiet voice. "The meadow is to the north. She'll smell us and take the bait."

"We should be moving out," said Sam in a gruff voice.

"Yes," murmured Jasper. "Everyone remembers the plan. Jacob, Embry, Carlisle and myself will make up the first team. We will arrive from the east of the meadow, and since we will be upwind, we can be closer than we originally planned. Sam, Quill, Alice and Emmett will take the second team. You'll have to be further away, since you will be down win, but that shouldn't be too much of a problem. Which ever team arrives first: two of you get Bella as far away as possible. If it is my group, that will be left to myself and either Edward or Carlisle, depending on how long Edward has been fighting Victoria. If it is the other group, Alice and Edward will take her. Any questions?" No one said a word, as they had been preparing for this ever since the plan had been proposed.

"Okay. Edward will take Bella in his car. The rest of us will run."

Everyone who was leaving the house, plus Esme and Rosalie, who would not be, went to see me off. Edward opened the door to his shiny Volvo, and for a moment in felt like old times. Before I got inside the car, I stared at Jasper for a long time. Jasper stared back, his hands on my cheek and in my hair.

"You'll be OK," he said. For some reason, I think he was trying to convince himself. "Edward will take care of you. We'll only be apart for a little while. After this is over, we don't have to fear Victoria again." I nodded, but the tears were already building up in my eyes. I couldn't bare it if I lost Jasper; and he couldn't bare to lose me either.

"I love you, Jasper," I said as the tears began to fall.

"I love you, Bella," he said. Then he kissed the tears from my cheek, then my lips. "Love you…" he whispered.

I got into the Volvo, and Edward drove away.

I sniffled and tried to stop crying for the first few minutes of the drive. Edward had reached behind the seat and handed me some tissues. "T-thank you." I said.

More silence followed. He was taking the familiar road to the meadow. Our meadow.

"I'm sorry you have to go through this, Bella," said Edward.

I looked over at him. He was clutching the steering wheel so tightly, I was surprised that he hadn't broken yet. His expression was pained, and he wasn't making eye contact with her.

"Me, too," I sighed.

-------

I lost track of the time as Edward drove. I just stared out the window, not really seeing anything, and wondered what Jasper was doing. When we finally arrived just outside the woods, just as we had a little less than a year ago, my nerves returned full force.

Edward opened my door, and I stood, my knees shaking. "Uh…Bella?"

"Yes?"

"You don't mind…I mean….I have to carry you. I hope…you're not…offended," said Edward, trying to find the right words.

I smiled gently at Edward. "No, Edward. It's sweet of you to take my emotions into consideration…but I don't think either of us thinks me walking would be a good idea."

Edward smiled as well, and he helped me onto his back. "I'm going to start running. You'll want to close your eyes." My stomach jumped as I remembered the last time I ran with Edward.

I quickly shut my eyes.

We arrived at the meadow without incident. It still pained me how beautiful it was - the prefect circle of grass and flowers.

Unlike the last time we were here, it was not sunny. It was overcast, but it didn't look like it was going to rain.

"I suppose we'll just wait," said Edward.

I nodded and walked to the dead center of the circle, and collapsed down. Edward cautiously followed me, sitting down about three feet away from me. I started tear at the grass, and every few minutes wiping my sweaty palms on my jeans. I stared at the tiny silver phone that was balanced on my knee that Edward gave to me. When Victoria arrived I was to quickly speed dial Alice (2) then Jasper (3). I was so nervous. For some reason, I thought that the moment we arrived that everything would go fine. And quickly. But nothing was happening. All this free time was making me dwell on the fact that Jasper could be in danger. That Edward was in danger just sitting next to me. Jacob…the other wolves…the rest of the Cullens.

"Edward," I found myself whisper. He looked up at me with a surprised expression. "I'm scared." I said, my voice breaking.

"Bella…" he said, scooting closer to me and placing his arm around my shoulders. As I cried into his shoulder, I imagined that it was Jasper's, and that the only reason I was crying was because I just finished an entry in his diary from when he was a human. I was crying because of the eloquent words Jasper wrote about his fallen friend. I was crying because of the pains of war Jasper had to face every day. I imagined this, because even though I had cried about that only a few days ago, Jasper was there to comfort me. He told me that his friend was in a better place. He reassured me, and I was able to smile through my tears.

There was no smiling through these tears. I did finally stop crying. Edward handed me another tissue and I silently accepted it. Edward kept his arm around me, and I continued to fool myself into imagining Jasper's strong arms.

A few minutes later, Edward tensed. "She's coming," he hissed. He quickly stood and crouched down in front of her. "Call," he hissed again.

I fumbled for the phone, which I fallen onto the grass. My hands were shaking so much it took me a second to hit the number 2. I placed the phone to my ear. After the first ring Alice answered: "Bella?"

"She's coming," I whispered, then hung up and quickly dialed 3 for Jasper. Carlisle answered, and I repeated that Victoria was coming. We silently waited.

There was only the slightest rustling of the trees when Victoria walked out from their dark hiding place. She was grinning in a catlike, predatorily, way at us.

"Isn't this just…perfect…" she said. I was completely surprised at how baby like her voice sounded. It did not match her appearance at all. "I get to kill your mate in front of you; that way, you can feel all the pain, and more that I felt when you killed James," she said to Edward, then her red eyes flickered to my own terrified brown ones.

"I won't let you," Edward said; Victoria only chuckled in that baby-like voice.

Then she pounced.

Edward jumped as well, and they hit in midair, making a cracking noise just as the Cullens did when they played baseball.

The blurs of Edward and Victoria (only identifiable because of the shocking red of her hair) did a sort of sickening dance around the meadow. I could only watch in fascination, and fear.

"Bella!" Jasper seemingly appeared beside me.

"Jasper," I whispered, completely relieved to see him. Jasper picked me up effortlessly as Carlisle, Jacob and Embry (in their massive wolf forms) appeared. The first thing Embry did was leap toward the Victoria blur; and after Jacob sent me a heartbreaking puppy-like stare, he did as well. Carlisle jumped into the fight only for a moment, and that was to take Edward out of it.

"Edward - you and Jasper get Bella far away. Get to your car and drive - understand?" Carlisle said in a commanding voice.

Edward had a crazy look in his eyes, and was staring at the fight between the two werewolves and Victoria. "Yes…ok…" he nodded, trying to focus on Carlisle.

"Go!" said Carlisle, then he began to tear down trees and set them in the middle of the meadow. I realized that he was going to make a fire to destroy Victoria.

"Close your eyes," whispered Jasper. I did - and just in time, because Jasper began to run. I clutched tighter to Jasper's neck; I never wanted to let him go.

Then, the movement stopped. I slowly opened my eyes. We were in front of the Volvo. Jasper was hastily opening the back seat, and tried to put me down.

"No," I said in a half sob. "Don't let me go."

"Okay, Bella," he said, getting into the backseat himself and settling me on his lap. "I'll never let go of you," he said softly.

Still holding onto Jasper as tightly as I could, as the car began to move, I fell asleep in the strong arms of the man I loved.

------------------------------------------

"…the poor thing has been so much lately…"

"Because of me."

"And me."

"It is not your fault; Edward, Jasper."

"If I hadn't left her alone…defenseless…She'd have never gone through that pain, and I'd still…I'd still have her."

Silence.

As I slowly came into the world of consciousness, I began to hear the voices close to me, recognizing each one:

Esme.

Edward.

Jasper.

Carlisle.

Edward.

It didn't take a genius to figure out that they were talking about me. Even in my sleepy and head pounding state, I could figure it out.

"It isn't your fault," I said in what I thought was a strong voice. It felt like my mouth was full of cotton.

"Bella! You're awake!" Jasper entered my field of vision.

"How long have I been asleep?" I asked sitting up a little so I could see everyone in the room, and getting a little dizzy in the process. My tongue wasn't working properly at all. I wish I had some water.

As if reading my mind - ha ha - Edward handed me a glass of water. I drank it quickly.

"A few hours," said Carlisle, slipping easily into his doctor role. "I believe you were under too much stress, so you simply couldn't handle it, and your brain shut down." I nodded stiffly.

"And…Victoria?" I asked. I didn't see any of the wolves, which worried me. Were they alright?

"She's been taken care of," said Emmett. "She didn't stand a chance against us," he said smugly.

"Jacob and pack are cleaning up from the fire and spreading the ashes at a safe distance," said Jasper. He could tell I was worried about Jacob.

"Good," I sighed. I almost couldn't believe it. Victoria was gone. I wasn't in danger - for once - and could enjoy the last few weeks of school without a murderous vampire coming after me.

_______________________

**D There we are! Victoria is GONE! Yay! **

**What is to come next?!?! Stay tuned, review, and you shall know! :P **

**Bye bye! **

…**.REVIEW! **

**-Rose**


	14. And I'd give up forever to touch you

**Oh my goodness - I'm back! ****J**

**I can't wait for New Moon - can you! ****J**** There's a lot of delicious Jacob! And Edward! Omg, this movie will rock. ****J**

**On another note, if you have a LiveJournal account, you should totally drop by my add me as a friend and whatever. And if you don't have an account, you should still go look at it. I post some of my fanart graphics on there - at the time it's mostly Twilight and New Moon, but I might expand on all that. And comment! Please!!! ****J****The link is on my profile****. Puhlease! I really want people to see my graphics. I like to dabble. **

**And oh my gosh! ****J**** I FINISHED MY 1****ST**** DRAFT TO MY BOOK! You know - my original work! -faints- It's so awesome. And my friend Ashly read it - in less than a day and loved it! ****J**** Excitement! Now I just need to find someone to publish it! **

**Okay, lyrics for the chapter (pay attention to them!):**

_And I'd give up forever to touch you __  
Cause I know that you feel me somehow  
__You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be __  
And I don't want to go home right now _

**Iris, The Goo Goo Dolls ****J**

**XxXxXxXxXxX**

**Bella**

"Isabella Marie Swan."

My stomach jumped as the principal called my name. I slowly stood and walked to the front of the stage, making sure I wouldn't trip over my graduation gown - nothing would be more embarrassing in this moment.

When I finally made it up the stairs, I let myself hear the clapping in the audience, and distinctly heard Jacob's wolf whistle. I blushed, of course. The slightly short man gave me my diploma, and I turned to my mini cheering section. My mom, dad and Phil were there, and my mom was crying. Esme and Carlisle looked just as proud as my own parents, as if I were their daughter. Even Rosalie and Emmett were smiling. Jacob and the other wolves were also there, and all of them looked actually at ease to be near a family of vampires.

And of course, Jasper, who was the one my eyes lingered on. He had a stunning smile on his face, and waved at me when I caught his eyes. This also made me blush.

I walked off stage to were Alice and Edward were standing, in gowns the same as my own, and yet they looked like golden angels in theirs and I looked like I was swimming in mine.

When the last person in our senior class was called, and the principal said a few more words, all the new grads went to their waiting families. I was passed from hug to hug in my group, as were Alice and Edward.

"I'm so proud!" cried Renee, surprisingly hugging me even tighter than either werewolf or vampire.

"So am I, Bells," said Charlie gruffly. I had a feeling he was trying not to cry.

Renee, Charlie, Phil and I went to dinner afterwards, the Cullens declined politely (except for Jasper). Jacob and his dad decided to tag along as well.

I stuffed myself at dinner, only because Jasper kept slipping his food onto my plate. Only Jacob and I noticed this, of course.

"Charlie," said Jasper after we were finished eating. "Is it alright if I take Bella out - for some dessert?"

"Of course," said Charlie, who was lazily rubbing his belly.

"Thanks dad," I said, standing up. I kissed him and my mom on the foreheads.

"Hey," said Jacob teasingly. "Do I get a kiss?"

I laughed and kissed his cheek. "Happy?" I asked him.

"Ecstatic."

When I got into Jasper's Jaguar and we began to drive, I sighed and leaned into his shoulder. "Congrats, Grad," he whispered.

I giggled. "Thanks. It feels amazing to be out of high school." I paused. "Jasper? When will I be changed? You said I should wait till I graduated. I am - so when can Carlisle change me?"

Jasper frowned a little. "As soon as you want. I'd imagine you'd want to wait till your mother returns home in a week - this will be the last time you'll see her," I finished sadly.

"Yeah," I said, my throat was dry.

"But after that…whenever. You'll have to give Charlie a story, though. It would probably be better to use college as a disguise." Jasper paused, then suddenly got an idea. "Or you could come on a trip to Europe - or at least say that's what you will do. Say that you'll be there we my family all summer, then when it comes time for college, you won't have to come back here. You'll just have to tell Charlie you're too busy, and can only call him, you know? And my family can decide to move away then, too. Carlisle can say he decided to stay in Europe, even."

I nodded. "That sounds good." I took a deep breath. "So in about two weeks?"

"It's a date," Jasper agreed. "I'll tell Carlisle." Then Jasper grinned. "But right now I want to discuss something different."

I hadn't noticed until just now that that the car was parked. I opened my door and stepped out when Jasper did. It was dark outside, so I could only see so much, but the Jaguar's headlights helped.

We were on the edge of some sort of cliff. It was grassy, and just over the cliff you could see the full moon and starry sky. "Beautiful," I murmured.

"Yes, you are," Jasper whispered in my ear as he held me in his arms. We stood their silently for a while, looking at this sky, then Jasper abruptly let me go. "I came here to ask you something." I nodded, a bit confused. My confusion vanished when Jasper lowered to one knee and pulled out a small velvet box. "Marry me, Bella."

My eyes widened comically, I'm sure. It was too much of a surprise. In my head, I remembered Renee's rants about getting married too young, and while Jasper certainly wasn't 'young', I was. I never imagined getting married for many more years - even as in love I was with Edward. And even though I was completely in love with Jasper…I couldn't really imagine him as a husband. I wanted to cringe at the thought.

"Jasper," I finally said. "You know I'm not a marriage person - at least not so young."

"Young?" Jasper said with a grin.

"You know what I mean," I said, frowning. "To me, marriage isn't a lasting thing. It isn't forever."

"But we are forever, Bella," said Jasper. My heart melted.

"I know we are…but attaching 'marriage' makes me….wary, you know? Just now. It might change, later. When I'm a vampire, and we've been together longer."

Jasper nodded slowly. "I understand, Bella." Then he grinned wickedly. "But I'll have you know, Bella, I'm old fashioned, and I won't be sleeping with you until I get a ring on your finger."

"What?" I asked. I was surprised. I know he said there wasn't any possible way to do _that _when I was human, but I thought when I was a vampire…

"Yes," he said curtly. "Alice and I waited…true, we married a month after we met….but we did wait. My mother would turn in her grave if she knew I didn't go about this in a southern gentlemen way." He grinned.

I sighed, and looked down at the ring. It was pretty. Very simple, golden band with a medium size diamond in the center. I had the impression that it was from the same time period as Jasper came from. Then I wondered if he was trying to seduce me into this 'marriage' thing. Of course, I knew he wasn't, really. He was just telling me the truth. And I wasn't going to change my mind because of…sex.

"I accept your terms," I said. "I understand we won't sleep with each other until we're married, but that marriage isn't going to happen fore a while…in fact - as me again when I finally get control of myself as a newborn. And my eyes are as gold as yours."

Jasper straightened up and pocketed their ring box. "Will do." Then he kissed me.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXx

A week after Renee and Phil left Forks, I did as well. I told my dad I would be spending the summer on a tour of Europe with the Cullens. I'm sure he only allowed it after Esme and Carlisle promised to take good care of me. Our goodbye was…sad. For me even more so, because I knew it would be our last moments together. And Charlie knew that he wouldn't be seeing me for a long time, since I would be going to 'college' right after I returned from Europe and wouldn't be coming back to Forks until Christmas break - which of course I wouldn't be.

Instead of getting on a plane, I drove in Jasper's care to Alaska - all the other Cullens following us in their own vehicles. I slept half of the time, and talk to Jasper the other half. We talked about random things, but he also was preparing me for my change.

When we got to their house in Alaska, which was in the middle of no where, my nerves really kicked in. I tried to focus on the house - it was beautiful, of course. It was a huge log house, with glossy windows. The inside was very homey, with comfy looking furniture and warm colors.

The family all gathered in the living room, and I held on tight to Jasper.

"Bella," Carlisle asked. "Do you want to wait until tomorrow to start your change?"

I didn't want to give myself time to think. "No - I have to do it now. I'll get to…scared if I wait."

"Very well," said Carlisle. "Follow me." I followed him up the stairs, still holding onto Jasper, the rest of the Cullens trailing behind us.

Carlisle opened the door all the way down the long hallway. There was a queen bed on one wall, a dresser on another, and a desk. All the furniture was white, and the walls a powder blue - the room was calming.

And so was Jasper. He was trying is best to send me calming waves. I accepted them gladly. Carlisle told me to lay on the bed. I did so, still holding Jasper hand. Everyone gather on the other side of the room, observing quietly. Carlisle pulled out a syringe and injected in into my arm. "Morphine - I'm hoping it will make the change more manageable," he explained. I nodded stiffly. I could already feel the drug's numbing effects.

Alice skipped over to me suddenly, leaned down and kissed my cheek. "I love you, Bella. Everything will be fine," she said knowingly. I nodded again. Alice reassumed her spot next to Edward, who looked pained. I knew why, of course, but I tried not to dwell on it.

I laid back on may back, then took a deep breath. I stared into Jasper's honey eyes. "I'm ready Carlisle."

I felt Carlisle icy hands gingerly probe by neck, then felt his lips on the same spot. I focused only on Jasper. I was doing this for him - to be with him forever. It didn't matter how much pain I went through.

There was a slight pressure on my neck. Nothing painful. Then there was a little bit of burning. I felt Carlisle's lips on my arm - another pressure. Another pressure on my other arm.

Then the burning began.

I didn't want to scream. I didn't want them to know my pain. Rosalie told me a few days ago that it did no good to scream.

And I found that I couldn't. I was numb from the morphine, I processed dumbly. It wasn't lessening my pain - just causing me to withstand it silently and in stillness.

I wasn't sure if this was a blessing or curse.

I also realized - how much after Carlisle's bites, I wasn't sure - that Jasper was trying to calm me with is powers. I think it worked, slightly. I felt the burning, but I didn't care as much. It was strange. But as the burning continued, the calm lost its effects. Was that because the fire was intensifying, or Jasper's strength was waning?

For a time, I lost my cognitive thought. I couldn't think of anything but the pain. Pain, pain, pain. Fire, fire, fire. Burning, burning, burning.

Then I began to hear voices. Jasper's - Carlisle's - Alice's. I couldn't make out the words, just the tones. Then later, the words.

"How much longer?" asked Jasper.

"Soon," answered Carlisle.

The conversation ended.

As the burning left my toes, and worked its way up, I also felt the morphine leave my blood. But I still stayed completely motionless. It was almost done - I couldn't start screaming now.

The fire was only in my chest now. Burning, burning, burning! I heard by own heart beat ferociously. Then I heard it stop. And I felt no more fire.

At first, I couldn't believe that there was no more pain. The memory was still burned into my mind. Next, I couldn't believe I could hear no heart beat. I couldn't hear my own, or any other in the room - though I heard soft breathing from…one, two, three….seven people.

"Bella," said a soft voice. "Bella. Open your eyes."

It was Jasper's voice. To there new ears, he sounded even more magically. I would do anything for this voice.

I opened my eyes.

Jasper's face - his magnificent, beautiful, breathtaking face - hovered over my own. I could see all the contours of this face - this face I had stared at for hours- that I had never seen before. It was even more stunning than before. How could I have missed these details?

Before I could even think of doing so, I was kissing Jasper - holding him. A burning - not painful like my change - but slow and consuming overtook me. I knew then that I still felt like myself, even in this new body.

"I love you," I said in a voice I didn't really recognize. It sounded like bells.

"I love you," Jasper said. "Forever."

"Forever," I repeated.

XxXxXxXxXxX

"Jasper," I laughed. "Where are we going?"

"A small coffee house," he answered.

"Why?" I giggled.

"Humor me," Jasper said.

"Of course."

I looked out the window of the speeding car, capturing every detail with my sharp eyes. I was completely adjusted to this new body. Jasper couldn't even believe how fast I did adjust. I had an amazing talent for resisting human blood - Jasper was sure I was never even a newborn. And Alice had been helping me hone my newly found talent - a sort of shield, we described it as. It had only been six months since my change, but Jasper insisted I acted like I was decades old. I could even go into small public places.

We arrived at a cozy looking coffee house, made of brick with small sitting areas with big arm chairs and couches. I was aware of the two people in the corner, and three people on the couch near the front, but didn't feel like I would lose control. Their scents were appetizing, but I kept my cool.

Jasper and I settled into an oversized arm chair. A love struck teenage girl came to us, staring at Jasper with doe eyes. I smiled - I knew how she felt. We order two cups of black coffee that we wouldn't drink, and they were quickly brought out.

"So," I asked when the young girl had left, dumbstruck at the huge tip Jasper gave her. "Why are we here exactly." I touched the coffee cup, feeling its warmth on my icy skin.

Jasper stood, grinning, and god to his knee. My eyes widened - again? This was happening again? I heard a gasp from the corner, and one from the young girl at the counter. Jasper just smiled and said, in a low voice only he and I could hear, "Well, you did say to do this again when your eyes were as gold as mine and you had complete control. You have been in control for quite some time - just look around you at the humans here - and you could look in a mirror to check your eyes." He smiled, knowing he was right.

I looked at the simple ring - it really was beautiful. I looked at Jasper - so was he. And I loved him. Forever. Why should being married change that?

I grinned. "Well…I did promise, right?" Jasper nodded. I took a deep breath. "I will marry you, Jasper." Jasper smile was electric - the seven people in the coffee house clapped when Jasper handed me the ring.

"Read the inscription," he said softly.

I looked inside the gold band, and read the small letters out loud. "_I'd give up forever to touch you."_ I smiled and placed the ring on my finger, then took his hands in mine. "Yes. Forever." Then I kissed my fiancé.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

**Yay! I got to use another lyric from Iris. ****J**** Like it? I was thinking about using "You're the Closest to Heaven I'll ever be" but I decided to go with the other line from the song. Like? **

**Okay - this isn't it, I don't think. I probably will write an epilogue - maybe set a decade later? What I need to know before I write that though…do you want me to give Alice and Edward a significant other?? Next, do you want it to be a(n):**

**-original character**

**-Garrett for Alice and another vampire from the series for Edward (and who)**

**-OR do you want Alice and Edward to be together? Really, I could do any of those choices. But I'd like your feedback. **

**Okay….other than that…please review and tell me if you liked this chapter! And check out my LiveJournal! Please!!!! ****J**


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